Why I’m A Radical Feminist: OPEN THREAD Without MRA’s UPDATED

I went to a comment section over the weekend and had this exchange. Now it’s a bit long but worth the read. Excuse the formatting but it’s a copy/paste and such. I also will have filtering on so if some comments don’t go through right away it’s because I’m trying to keep MRA’s out as best as I can. Oh, and I’m ‘Joy’ in the comments and the dude is ‘Ancuwen.’ I updated it because the mansplainer returned and replied.

A couple of female commenters, Wendy and chiiill, have expressed they are happily in relationships with men. One of the things MRA’s and other male supremacists like to do is say feminists hate men. This is clearly not true. Andrea Dworkin, an amazing radical feminist, was married happily.

Granted there are some women, like myself, who for political and personal reasons will not have a sexual relationship with men but it’s NOT the only relationship you can have with a person.

I have male friends. They’re just very few and far between and I don’t see them sexually so it removes much of the problem. Men who can carry on a great friendship with me are far more valuable to ME.

I consciously choose to have sexual relationships strictly with women but there is ONE man who I did have a sexual relationship with and who I fell in love with.

This whole ‘manhater’ line is just a cop out projection that they use to woman hate.

“I consciously choose to have sexual relationships strictly with women”

You consciously choose? Erm… so rather than just never feeling attracted towards any man, you are sometimes attracted to a man but you consciously decide against following that attraction? That doesn’t appear very healthy to be perfectly honest

  • Isn’t it my choice who I have sex with? Or do I not have that right? Here’s where someone psychobabbles me that if I don’t follow an attraction, assuming I have an attraction to begin with, I must be sick!

    This is where the conversation breaks down because someone just can’t understand that the personal is political. This is a staple feminist concept. I don’t have to sit here and justify my sexual choices but apparently, it’s just not right if a woman chooses not to have sexual relationships with men!

Please don’t get defensive. I didn’t say that you don’t have the right, I simply said that consciously deciding against your own feelings of attraction doesn’t appear very healthy.

So tell me how making a conscious choice to refrain from sex with men isn’t healthy. If you’re willing to diagnose me with being unhealthy you best be sure to explain to me, where your brilliant analysis comes from.

Show me how it’s unhealthy to choose not to have sex with males. Oh and also tell me how you ASSUME I am even attracted to men sexually? Please dude, explain.

“Show me how it’s unhealthy to choose not to have sex with males.” – Not the point, and it’s not at all what I said or even remotely implied. In my humble, gut-level opinion, it is unhealthy (as in: emotionally unsustainable) to make conscious decisions against one’s feelings.

“brilliant analysis” – There is really no need to get defensive. I was carefully phrasing the core point of my comment as a question to make doubly sure that I hadn’t just misunderstood your original post. Then I offered my own personal opinion, that is all.

    • Oh so if I have a feeling I want to murder someone I should just do it right because it’s emotionally desiring.

      If I’m a diabetic I should just eat the candy cuz emotions!

      Ah, I see. You pulled it from your ass. That makes sense.

      You are part of the reason why I don’t have sex with males. You EXPECT women to be there for you sexually and when we DON’T show interest in fucking you immediately call us unhealthy.

      • If you ever truly have the feeling that you want to commit murder, you should seek professional help. If you feel like indiscriminately eating candy as a diabetic, you should seek professional help. If you feel like sleeping with a man, then there is nothing inherently wrong with that feeling.

        Please re-read your own comment. You just equated your own desire to sleep with a man with the urge to commit murder or seriously harm yourself by ignoring a physical condition. Your comparison falls apart where your two examples carry inevitable negative consequences regardless of anything else, whereas sleeping with a man does not carry inevitable negative consequences.

        “You are part of the reason why I don’t have sex with
        males.”
        – Judging other men on the basis of our little exchange here is, well, not very healthy either. That’s a bit like getting a movie suggestion from a friend, not liking the movie, and subsequently never listening to any movie suggestions from any friend ever again. Let me make myself clear: When I say “not healthy” in this context, I mean “a bit silly”.

        “You EXPECT women to be there for you sexually and when we DON’T show interest in fucking you immediately call us unhealthy. – That is not at all the case, and you have no basis for saying that. I’m actually the kind of guy who won’t take yes for an answer.

     

     

    No. YOU said emotions drive us and we should always follow them. That’s why I gave you those examples.

    Oh so because YOU don’t think there are negative consequences then there must be NO negative consequences! I’m glad you mansplained that to me or else I never would’ve thought about it.

    Dude, you are the prime reason why I’m a feminist. You hide behind MRA’s who are just more openly misogynist but when a woman expresses no interest in fucking men, it’s a GOD DAMNED HEALTH CRISIS!

    You’re actually the kind of guy who uses casual conversations on the internet to deflect and yet at the end you blame me for ‘not knowing you.’

    Dude, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of upvotes for putting me in my unhealthy place where I don’t give teh menz sexy time. I know it bothers you so much that YOU are the one that HAD to comment to me and tell me I’m having a health crisis because ‘SHE DON’T FUCK MEN!’

    Oh noes!1111 A woman who doesn’t fuck men. This is really bad. It warrants men coming to the rescue to tell me how damaged I am.

    You’re a joke dude. If you have any inkling of feminism you’re surely not displaying it. ANd he’s going to continue to mansplain to me because wimminz don’t know their own self!

    • “YOU said emotions drive us and we should always follow them” – I never said anything of the sort. I simply offered my opinion that it is unhealthy to continuously consciously choose against one’s feelings.

      “Oh so because YOU don’t think there are negative consequences then there must be NO negative consequences!” – Nope, not what I wrote. Does sleeping with men carry negative consequences inevitably, in every case, and by its very nature, like murder or ignoring your medical condition do?

      “but when a woman expresses no interest in fucking men, it’s a GOD DAMNED HEALTH CRISIS!” – You wrote that you have the desire to sleep with men, if very rarely, but that you consciously decide against it on personal and political grounds. If you truly have no desire to sleep with a man, that’s another thing entirely and I would never judge anyone for their innate desires. What piqued my interest is that you clearly said that you consciously decide against your own feelings. That is what I personally would call “unhealthy”, as in: “a bit silly”.

      “A woman who doesn’t fuck men.” – Don’t you see how your original post above begs the question of why you consciously opt against your own desire? That’s all I asked about. Don’t have sex with men if you don’t feel like it. But not having sex with someone you desire on political grounds, that, again, is a little bit silly. In my humble opinion.

      I have more feminism in my left ballsack than you have in your entire screwed up exuse for a personality.

    You’re no better than an MRA.

    On Mansplaining:

    And the fact that you had a chance to learn something here was very potent and it went right over your head. You couldn’t just apologize and understand where you went wrong because no man anywhere will apologize for his privilege of being able to psychologically mansplain women for their own conscious choices and tell women they’re ‘doing it wrong.’

    On Entitlement:

    Listen dude, me not fucking men doesn’t beg any question. What it DOES do it show me who the entitled males are in the room. It shows me that women cannot self determine their own sexuality because some male thinks it’s ‘UNHEALTHY’ if we choose not to sleep with ANY man, NOT even YOU.

    On Patriarchy and Privilege:

    That’s what feminists call patriarchy. You know you’ll never sleep with me but if other men can’t well then, you have to make sure you shame me for not allowing men sexual access. You’re ensuring other men’s privilege to have my intimate sexuality even though I clearly said ‘NO Thanks.’

    The fact you don’t think I should OWN my own body, that it HAS to be accessible by males sexually for my SELF to be healthy is the problem.

    Then when someone points out to you that you’re the dipshit you get angry with them because dammit that woman on a comment section has to open her legs for men somehow!

    Well I don’t, and I don’t need a lecture by a silly privileged male who thinks he’s all that putting down MRA’s when he’s the bigger problem because he’s more insidious, more covert about his privilege and misogyny.

    Eat rocks dude.

    • “You’re no better than an MRA.” – Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing about you. If you were a guy, you’d be an MRA. That’s why you can never be an actual feminist. You are only interested in yourself, just like MRAs.

      “On Mansplaining” – I had never heard that term before, I’m not big on internet jargon. So that’s one thing I learned. Interesting is that you appear to honestly have convinced yourself that I somehow owe you an apology, after your barrage of tirades and f-bombs and making things up which I never said and tons of insults which you pulled out of thin air. The chance to learn is yours, and so far you have squandered it miserably.

      “Listen dude, me not fucking men doesn’t beg any question.” – Why the coarse language all the time? Oh, sorry, there I go again, being a person giving honest feedback to others. How evil of me. Anyway, yes it does. You said that you don’t have sex with men, which in and of itself is perfectly fine by me (I’m feeling generous). What piqued my curiosity is that you said that you’re not avoiding sex with men simply because you’re not into men, but that you consciously decide against it. That’s where I have questions, like: Why? And if you don’t feel like discussing these questions, you could have just said that. Or, you know, you could have just never mentioned the details of your private life that you don’t wish to be discussed. Just a thought.

      “you have to make sure you shame me for not allowing men sexual access” – I am close friends with several lesbian women, most of whom have never had sex with a man. Those of them who share my particular brand of humor know how to take it when I’m teasing them about it, just like my humor-capable male gay friends know how to take it when I tease them about never having sex with women. It’s all in friendly spirit, and those who don’t like humor are not my friends. So, where and how exactly am I “shaming” you? By being curious about a detail of your life which you gratuitously mentioned on the internet?

      “The fact you don’t think I should OWN my own body, that it HAS to be accessible by males sexually for my SELF to be healthy is the problem.” – Exactly! And since I never even remotely implied any of that, and all of it is taking place exclusively inside your own head, that means the problem is located inside your head.

    DISCUSS radfems?

     

    Mike Buchanan Comes For a Visit

    I recently wrote this article, ‘Profile of a Misogynist: Mike Buchanan.’ It’s important to read that first and come back to this one.

    Like clockwork Mike Buchanan came here to mansplain to me and others. I made a claim in my article that Buchanan harasses and stalks women with emails, and he does, but that he has Laurie Penny’s new address at Harvard.

    He protested that he doesn’t have her new email address and confronted me to show evidence of him crowing about the fact that he most certainly does have her email.

    This is a screenshot from an article HE wrote on Laurie Penny where he brags about having her new address and that of two other women. CLICK TO ENLARGE

    buchanan on email addysIn parenthesis, Buchanan brags ‘Names and addresses of three people, all are women, what are the chances?’

    I’m sure he intends to harass them by e-mail as he’s done countless times to other women. When they don’t respond to him he gives them silly ‘Lying Feminist of the Month’ awards on his silly blog.

    Without further ado, cue the mansplaining.

    Profile of a Misogynist: Mike Buchanan

    Mike Buchanan is a traditional conservative (Tory) from the UK. He is an MRA that plays tag along with Paul Elam. He got so frustrated with his own government for helping women that he quit the Tories and started his own political party called Justice4MenandBoys or J4MB. His political platform is focused on ‘stopping feminism’, which will never happen.

    ‘For over 30 years, men’s and boys’ human rights have been assaulted by politicians pandering to the demands of women driven by misandry (the hatred of men) – feminist MPs, as well as feminists in key positions in state institutions.’

    There are 2 people in his political party gearing up for the 2015 election and is currently developing his platform.

    He’s been on British TV a few times but says he probably won’t be invited back. No surprise. On his website he gives out awards for ‘Lying Feminist of the Month’ as well as other similarly named awards to British politicians.

    He got into the MRM when he didn’t get a job he felt entitled to. He called the female who interviewed him for the position a ‘vile feminist’ who was only interested in hiring women.

    Just to give you an idea of what he considers good material he promoted a post by a ‘sociologist’ who claims the State should butt-out of marital bickering. Here’s what he considers ‘bickering':

    ‘Recently, Seema Malhotra, Labour’s new shadow anti-domestic violence minister, asserted that husbands who tell their spouse that she is fat may well be guilty of domestic abuse.’~dumb MRA abuser sociolologist dudebro

    Of course! Calling your wife names isn’t abuse. It’s just, well, it’s just plain ole criticism! Haven’t we heard this from MRA’s about how criticizing women isn’t misogyny?

    Mike has a serious inclination to stalk women he doesn’t like. He writes them emails demanding them to retract public statements. Carolyn Criado Perez had to contact the police because he wouldn’t stop contacting her and demanding her to retract statements.

    Lately he has a big rage boner for Laura Bates, the creatress of The Everyday Sexism Project.

    This rage led him to start his own site based on the same premise. I went to the site and there’s not a single post by a man telling of this vast suffering men are supposedly enduring at the hands of women.  The only posts on his site were from him raging at women:

    ‘How best to deal with the whiny women in your life, whether at work or at home? A whiny nature usually develops in early childhood – maybe that’s why whiny women generally sound like petulant little girls – and we recommend two options we’ve found work well when a woman starts to whine. Don’t wait until she’s wound you up. You don’t need that sort of misery in your life.

    1. Walk away from the woman until she’s no longer audible; or

    2. Listen to some music through headphones or earphones, with the volume cranked up sufficiently high that you can no longer hear a word she’s saying. It may be worth taking an MP3 player to work for this sole purpose.’

    I took the liberty of compiling his TV appearances into bits where he opens his mouth. This is the result:

    I have a second video I haven’t published yet.  I’m going to spend the year compiling clips so I can do another video project exposing them when they have their next conference bawl which they say will be held in Washington DC.

    Remember How MRA’s Stuck Up for Ray Rice? UPDATE

    UPDATE

    On twitter the hashtags #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft are trending. Women are sharing their stories and explaining why it’s not so easy as just ‘leaving.’

    Janay Rice sent an instagram to Twitter explaining her disappointment at the video being made public and that by making it public it has irrevocably harmed her family and her relationship with Rice. She focused on how horrible it was to ‘relive’ the moment.

    Some women need reminding of what they’ll tolerate. This is not to blame her but I think if someone showed me a video tape of what my ex would do to me, I may have left sooner than I did and done it in a more calculated way to protect myself. Nobody should blame Janay for staying since we women know how hard it is to leave. As I said yesterday on a comment section, it may be he’s already threatened to murder her.

    AVFM and MRA’s have said NOTHING in response to the video of Rice beating his girlfriend unconscious. Instead they focus on the fact that she married him as a way to blame her for being beaten. In fact I got a tweet from an MRA org yesterday in response to this post that said Janay married Ray. Marrying someone isn’t permission to be battered but to MRA’s it seems that’s the case. To me this shows how these men, and many men in general, truly think about battering. They don’t take it seriously because it mostly doesn’t happen to them.

    Next time MRA’s whinge that women are beating up men in the same frequency and severity (which is statistically false), let’s remind them of their blaming of Janay, Rice’s wife and how nonchalantly they treat this problem.

    ____________

    MRA’s are always quick to jump to the defend guys who beat the shit out of their wives. In the case of Ray Rice, professional football player, there was a video of him dragging his unconscious wife out of an elevator that made the rounds online. MRA’s were quick to point out that his wife probably deserved it because they ‘didn’t know’ what actually happened inside the elevator. All the video contained was Ray dragging his wife unconscious, out of the elevator.

    Here’s the sportscaster Steven Smith blaming women for men beating them and doing the typical mansplain double-speak we women are accustomed to. MRA’s flocked to his defense too.

    In response to Smith’s ‘don’t provoke men’ diatribe in which he was suspended, Elam weighed in:

    ‘ESPN Sportscaster Stephen A. Smith was suspended from his job for making the common sense observation related to the Ray Rice incident that women should not provoke violence with men. He was basing that on the knowledge that the woman Rice hit (and who later married him) had admitted to hitting him first.’

    Elam has gone on record saying that if a woman hits him, even if she’s ineffective and can’t do damage, that he will hit her.

    ‘I am 6’8” tall and 285 pounds. If a woman five feet tall and 110 pounds soaking wet hits me, I am going to hit her back. I would do my best to return the violence proportionally, to just use enough force to stop the attack, but I can make no guarantees. Depending on the suddenness of the attack, the level of fear or threat I might feel, the impulse to self-defend in measured amounts is difficult, if not impossible to predict with any accuracy.’

    Aside from Elam’s giddyness about battering women, we have a new development. Turns out Ray Rice DID beat her, like most women knew anyway, and there’s a tape of it.

    Here’s the of him beating her released an hour ago. The NFL gave Rice a two game suspension AFTER they viewed the full tape that was just leaked a few hours ago. So far the NFL has said nothing on the matter but now that the full tape is online I suspect we’ll hear some mansplaining from all corners of the manosphere.

     

    My suspicion is that the NFL covered it up. Men hide other men’s battering as part of patriarchy. We know how many male athletes get passes when they rape and batter because they’re so commercially valuable. This is just another form of male violence against women that is justified in our culture.

     

     

    Paul Elam Against Abortion: Just Tell Women To ‘Fuck Off’

     Paul had a show yesterday. What’s a bit off to me is that Warren Farrell, who is usually present, isn’t there.

    Rape Fantasies: A Tool In The Wrong Hands

    I’m not going to discuss the many psychological theories for rape fantasies. What I am going to do is explain why analyzing them in certain ways is problematic. David Ley, a regular writer at AVFM recently wrote about rape fantasies and his reasons for why they occur. What resulted was a comment section of men, misogynist men, normalizing rape as an evolutionary strategy. It reminds me of the adage about tools. You can use a hammer to build wonderful things but you can also use that hammer to hurt people. MRA’s hurt people.

    MRA’s shouldn’t go near this topic because inevitably they display their utter contempt for women. Judgybitch even got in on this and said that she can’t dream about having sex with Ben Affleck because it’s cheating so she fantasizes that he rapes her. This is the most childish shit I’ve ever read. I think she says things like this to impress the guys, to let them know she’s ok with being treated as a doormat and that her entire existence revolves around male power. What woman hasn’t fantasized about sex with others even when in a committed relationship? Some of us do but we don’t consider it cheating.

    MRA’s are now talking about how women are naturally submissive and if women fantasize about masochism the poor males get blamed for it. This is the problem with putting a hammer in their hands. They’ll either find a way to become the victims or they’ll make up biological theories that place women as inferior.

    They also talked about the ‘old’ definition of rape which hasn’t changed at all. Most of them complained about having to obtain consent not realizing that consent IS the crux on which the crime depends.

    ‘Men are by nature, the dominant sex. The feminists deny reality for equality because it’s a way of coping with their feelings, that’s why they think a mere fantasy is symptom of some terrible patriarchal boogeyman. It goes well with the leftist belief that everything is socialized, and therefore changeable.’~ W.Gao

    These abnormal men then try to naturalize rape fantasies by endorsing Elliot Rodger’s ideas:

    ‘Ive personally seen wealthy respectable women drop their panties in a new york minute when soda comes around bullying the F*&k ……..out of everyone that steps in his path!!!’

    The idea that women only sleep with men who are violent and crude was the nucleus around which Elliot Rodger’s entire rage-filled manifesto revolved. The idea that women ruin the world by only sleeping with bad men is a common theme to MRA’s. Stefan Molyneux actually blames all the world’s problems on women who sleep with ‘assholes.’

    Then there’s the idea that women are the oppressors of men because we ‘gatekeep’ sex. This idea is straight out of the Warren Farrell playbook and it does show MRA’s as men who are incompetent in having any kind of relationship with a woman, be it sexual or otherwise.

    ‘Generally speaking, the sexual dynamics between male and female is about the female having the power and control. As Tom Golden said, it’s the competer and chooser situation, where men compete against each other in the hope of getting chosen by women. This gives women the power of making sex a commodity they can supply as sparingly as they wish. Male-on-female rape is breaking this rule where the supplier has this commodity taken by someone she does not approve, and rape fantasy, to my mind, is the imagined loss of this control and power, by exercising control and power within her mind.’

    This mental twisting into female blame is precisely what MRA’s do so well. You really have to be careful what ideas you allow them to play with but it does demonstrate their woman hatred and their inability to handle mature topics.

    I think rape fantasies in women might be due to the fact that we are the gender that actually gets raped and threatened with rape. It might be a way to cope with the inevitable. We know as women that men, all men, have the potential to rape us within our structurally unequal society. It may be a way for women to control the inevitable rape, the rape that happens to many many women in peacetime and as a weapon of war. Rape is committed by men we know, men we trust.

    Men don’t seem interested in stopping rape as a practice of oppression. Instead, they use the phenomenon of the female rape fantasy as a backdrop to normalize rape. David Ley suggested that these fantasies are coping mechanisms that show that women aren’t truly devastated after being violated. He thinks we should eliminate the disease model around rape and rape fantasies. He thinks that therapists and community organizations actually make rape worse by explaining how horrific it is. This circular reasoning is common in men because they don’t have to worry the way women do.

    This is the typical male stance that normalizes rape as something women don’t really have a hard time with. Men preach that rape truly isn’t that bad because I think it makes them feel absolved of any responsibility in stopping it. If men can normalize rape as something that naturally happens they have no reason to want to end it. Ladies, how many times have you heard a man say that rape is an evolutionary way of continuing the species? If I had a dollar for. . .

    Rape works for all men to keep all women in a state of fear. The fact that MRA’s normalize it and accuse women of lying about it means they don’t take it seriously, and why would they? Dean Esmay claims our culture is full of rape hysteria and that women are just worried too much. I should point out to the inept Dean Esmay that this fear is valid. The more men normalize rape into an inconsequential act they have no intention of stopping, women will remain afraid.

    When only half the human race cares about a problem the other half commits without any sign of stopping it’s not unusual to be afraid.

    Men can stop rape. If they want to.

     

    AVFM’s Totalitarian Censorship

    AVFM, that bastion of stupid dudes, has decided that women in gaming are causing game companies everyone to censor them. The hilarious thing is they’re a bunch of hypocrites. No surprise. In an article titled ‘Cronyism, Lies and Censorship’ (I’m not going to link it because it’s just endless kvetching) the author Vincent James whines and whines and whines about those poor dudes who can’t go to gaming sites and spread woman hatred. What about free speech?

    Here’s AVFM just a couple days ago, censoring someone in a purely totalitarian way: CLICK TO ENLARGE

    AVFM banning for disagreeing with AVFMIf you speak against the government you will be erased. Pure totalitarianism. The next time I hear MRA’s whining about this I’ll point them here and watch the rationalization hamsters go into overdrive.

    Here are some Russian jokes I found about their lives under communism. It reminded me of AVFM’s Elam. With a little word substitution they fit just fine.

    • Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in Soviet Union  AVFM, just like in USA  feminist blogs?
    A: In principle, yes. In the USA feminist blogs, you can yell, “Down with Reagan Feminism!”, and you will not be punished. Equally, you can also stand in AVFM in Elam’s World and yell, “Down with Reagan Feminists!”, and you will not be punished.

    I didn’t substitute words here. They are just perfect the way they are.

    • Q: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR? Both of them guarantee freedom of speech.
    A: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.
    • Q: Is it true that the Soviet Union is the most progressive country in the world?
    A: Of course! Life was already better yesterday than it’s going to be tomorrow!

     

    Be Silent Or Else

    MRA's are violent. This comment was directed to me.

    MRA’s are violent. This comment was directed to me.

    I get these pretty regularly. This particular one was a response to me on a video about Eron Gjoni’s bullshit. MRA’s are doing the job Eron wants them to do. It’s not only his ex girlfriend that will get violence directed at her but so will other women who point out the violence.

    Many women leave the internet and some, like Anita Sarkeesian, have to leave their homes due to MRA violence. Three days ago, AVFM wrote another article about Anita in essence to turn the violence up another notch.

    Here are the tweets that caused Anita and her family to leave her home for safety:

     

    Women are told to be silent or else they’ll be murdered by men. These MRA’s and other men from the ‘manosphere’ are extremely violent. Many of them are on Youtube, which is where this comment came from. At one point my audience on Youtube was over 90% male. Two thirds of Youtube users are male as of the first quarter of 2013. I think it’s actually higher than that since many guys on Youtube make sock accounts that are female.

    If you experience violence online please don’t be afraid to share it, screen cap it, and let me know. I’ll be happy to publish it.

    Male Gamer Eron Gjoni Is a Patriarchal Asshole: UPDATED Aug 31st

    While the male dominated MRA-rich gamer community does everything in its power to keep women from entering their ‘male space’ a female game designer, Zoe Quinn, was publicly sex shamed by her dating partner and gamer Eron Gjoni. Please, excuse me for this long post but this needs to be said.

    UPDATE:

    Eron Gjoni, in some lame attempt to give me ‘facts’, tweeted me saying he’s not a male gamer and Zoe told him she loved him before he did. CLICK TO ENLARGEeron gjoni tweet me

    I asked myself ‘Does this even fucking matter?’ ‘Do I care what he says?’ Of course not. All these lame-ass attempts to correct me on what he considers ‘facts’ doesn’t change this one bit and it’s just more mansplaining to justify the cruelty and violence he’s trying to enact on Zoe.

    You see dude, I don’t care if she REALLY did sleep with other guys which I’m not taking from your mouth anyway. You’re playing victim here when you are the abusive asshole.

    Oh and one more thing: if you are coming to this blog to ‘correct’ me on facts save it. This is how I think about HIM as a person after reading the shit he posted about her and his excuses for doing so. It’s not meant to be HIS story. It’s MY impressions of him after he posted HIS side of things and what I picked up from reading it as to his character.

    If you come here to defend him you’ll get schooled. However, I’m really sick of people ‘correcting’ me based on their impressions because most likely, YOU don’t know him either. You make up stories too. The difference between you and I though is that I’m not taking his word for it nor am I interested.

    Eron tweeted me again. CLICK TO ENLARGE

    eron gjoni second tweetI don’t care what she did. She isn’t the problem here. It’s you. You’re the one who posted that crap, not her. This is another attempt to focus this back on her because he doesn’t like his just desserts.

    What do you want me to say? That she’s the bad one? Tell me dude, what the hell did she do that in ANY way compares with a public misogynist lynching that will go on for years? Once you can answer that question honestly then there’s no point in talking to you.

    ___________________________________________________

    I Eron Geek Dude Falls in Love With Zoe

    We all know the stereotype of the male gamer. He’s a geek. He has no social graces and he idolizes one woman who he knows won’t marry him or see him exclusively but he keeps at it, persisting at every second, to get her. It’s a game that leaves the computer but unlike a computer game, has real consequences for women who attempt to enter this bastion of masculinity.

    Ladies, meet Eron. He’s the dude that comes on way too strong and then expects marriage after a month. He’s insecure and immature. He likes to brag that women come on to him because he thinks that will make women like him more. It’s the biggest male faux pas coming right out of a PUA handbook.

    He meets Zoe, a game designer who he falls for immediately. He tells her he loves her right away.He’s socially inept and frustrated. He’s dependent and desperate.

    Once Eron has sex with Zoe, he wants to own her so he does all sorts of things to make that happen. He monitors her, follows her around, gets obsessed with her and never stops calling and messaging. He suffocates her. We’ve all experienced the clingy guy we wished like hell we never slept with because, with men, when they sleep with a woman and they’re immature and frustrated, they’ll do ANYTHING to form a relationship. These men don’t have a clear identity and lack boundaries. They lose themselves in women because they’re needy and dependent. They become a nasty second shadow that you can’t shake.

    II Zoe: The Independent Woman In the Male Dominated Gaming World

    Zoe is an intelligent woman who wants to establish herself in a male dominated subculture. Just being in that subculture does numbers on her psychologically. She’s probably hit on by men everywhere she goes. She gets cut off while she’s trying to talk seriously about her job. She’s probably completely overwhelmed by mansplainers and coerced sexually. Her career, she knows, is always overshadowed by men in power. The only way she can get anything done is by dealing with them, which becomes tiresome. Sometimes she gives in to the sulking dude who she knows won’t quit.

    She’s a healthy, sexually active woman. She meets Eron and since he can really hold a conversation and seems grounded, she has intercourse with him and starts to date him.

    The dating is casual. She knows there’s a chance Eron will become obsessed but, like many women, give him the benefit of the doubt. He suddenly wants to be with her in every moment and won’t leave her alone. She likes the company but it starts to get too much. He’s extremely judgmental and manipulative. She likes him but not that much.

    She continues to have sex with him and taking his calls, albeit sending off hints that she doesn’t want to have a deep relationship with him because she doesn’t trust him. In fact, at one point she flat out tells him. Zoe hopes, like many women, that Eron will take her hints but he doesn’t because this guy doesn’t understand social cues, at all.

    Now she has to try to let him down in a way that won’t cost her violence or a dramatic scene or both.

    III The Break up and Fallout

    Eron, the dependent manipulator, knows somewhere she doesn’t want him but because he is so immature and wants her at all costs he continues to latch onto her ankle like a dead weight. She doesn’t know how to let this guy down for fear of what might happen to her and there is a small part of her that kinda likes him so it’s a bit of a struggle. He gets even more desperate to do anything to keep up the illusion in his mind that they’re a couple. Our culture is full of geeky dudes who construct elaborate fantasies to themselves and male friends that the woman they dated once is head over heels in love with them.

    Zoe continues sending hints as best she can while trying to focus on life and work. She has sexual encounters with other men like any normal healthy woman but she still has to deal with clinged peaches who just won’t take the hint. Eron knows she’s with other guys and not committed to him. After a period of time he finally admits to himself she’s been with other men even though they’re not exclusive and he begins the long drawn out game of trying to ‘catch her’ and get her to submit to him. This is what immature men do to save face and to enact a sort of violence against women in their punishing way for not giving him the relationship he thinks he’s entitled to. He wants to corner her, to have her submit and cry to assuage his ego. Then he can judge her.

    He approaches her and half assedly confronts her with a barrage of questions.  He’s got that look in his eyes that women who mistakenly sleep with dependent men know. She’s worried about him going off the deep end. She tells him, in as best way she can, one by one, the guys she dated while dating him. It’s awkward as he pushes her to explain in detail everything she did when she wasn’t in his presence.

    The process takes days. She’s exhausted. He won’t let up.

    Finally, he accepts that he’s not the ‘one’ and his self created fantasy is dead. He now thinks of ways to hurt her because he’s hurt. He doesn’t take responsibility for any of it and is ready to do what he does best: judge and claim victimhood. She must pay.

    He takes to a blog to publicly shame her to the world.

    IV The Blog Post

    Eron, the jilted ex is so angry now that he decides to publicly shame her sexually by writing a large blog post where he whines as he explains every intimate detail. I felt strange reading it because it was so socially inept, so whiny, so manipulative and desperate all rolled into one.  He knows this blog post will work to bring her harm because the gaming world is a male dominated and stringently patriarchal. It doesn’t cross his mind that he’s the one at fault here. HE must be the victim.

    He even goes the lengths of protecting SOME of the men he thinks she slept with because of brofeelz. Apparently those few guys didn’t have sex with Zoe while they were ‘together.’ He pours out his immature heart onto a blog that he knows will have longstanding repercussions for her in this industry. What he fails to understand, at the time of writing, is that it also has repercussions for him. The endless post, is full of incredible detail whereby he analyzes and judges each and every move she made, each and every conversation they ever had. It’s frightening to read how wrapped up he was and out of touch with reality.

    Not only does he display that he’s a dependent ‘nice guy’ creep but he also shows women who are trying to navigate that male dominated field what they’re in for if they get near him. It displays his ideas about women, as if she was his property and was ‘defiled’ by other men. He reproaches and names a few of the men he thinks she slept with but only because they allegedly were with her when they were a ‘couple’ and because ‘how dare those men sleep with a woman that ‘belonged’ to him!’ Women are seen as property in this subculture to be held up as trophies/objects for a guy desperate to prove his manhood instead of mutual human partners that have independent lives of their own.

    I can tell while reading this multiple page blog post by Eron that he’s hurt but dammit dude, YOU have a serious problem. You played right into it and didn’t take the hint. You made a fantasy story in your head and because you lacked boundaries and a life of your own you lost yourself in your own false fantasy, in her.

    Even after it was over he was STILL trying to check her every behaviour. It’s abuse. No two ways about it. Not only was he playing victim but he assumed the victimhood of her tens of thousands of online fans. He claimed he was judging her and exposing her for them when it was really about him. He did it that way so people wouldn’t think of him as vindictive. Too late pal. I’ve got your number.

    You’re the stereotypical judgmental fixer who pours endless edicts at women that you think ‘helps’ them. This is how you try and control the environment. You’re the kind of guy women should NEVER get near.

    It was a GAME to you dude. Instead of dealing with reality you got lost in a world you created, the one that Zoe wasn’t actually in.

    V Aftermath: Addressing Eron

    Eron, you’re making this worse and if you think she’s the one with the bigger problem you’re wrong. You’re showing other women that you’re not ever to be trusted to have any intimate time with. Coming out public with this highly personal situation was wrong and you know it but because your male ego was shattered, and by your own hand at that, you feel compelled to smear Zoe with everything you’ve got. Worse than that is you’re using ‘the community would care about this’ excuse to do it. I don’t believe for a second she didn’t give you hint after hint that you weren’t the ‘couple’ you imagined. You smothered her and then couldn’t understand why she was luke warm with you.

    You kept telling her she was failing you in her dishonesty. Why would a guy who knows he’s being cheated on (assuming that’s true) go back and back and back? You claim you’re being super dude but that’s not why. You wanted to fix and monitor her. You wanted to make her to be the failure that victimized you time and time again so that YOU could play victim. You’re fucking sick dude.

    Not only that but coming out with this, whether true or not, shows that women usually have to sleep with men to get somewhere in your industry. It alerts all women in these industries, or are attempting to get in, that they have a solid case for why they need to put their feet down and eliminate the boys club. It’s the classic double bind for women. If a woman is comfortable having sex with men as she sees fit she’s called a whore sleeping up the ladder while at the same time men want and REQUIRE women to do that in this industry. It’s a problem. A big one.

    The boys-club is has to go. No amount of kicking and screaming about Anita Sarkeesian or Zoe Quinn is going to change that. This event lends credence to Anita’s ideas about games and how females are treated as ‘property’ to be won through successive attempts. It gives us a deeper understanding of male geek culture and how it works concerning women in the real world. I feel like I have to put in the obligatory ‘not all male gamers are like that’ but many of them are and Eron is the quintessential creepy nice guy every single woman dreads after having sex with them.

    VI MRA’s

    The MRA/gamer cross section picked up on this and continued to sexually shame and harass Zoe online where Eron left off. Page after page, endless rants, and videos are dedicated to analyzing her every move (which I won’t link). Her sexuality is being picked at with minute detail. It’s disgusting. They also accuse her of ruining the gaming community. We radfems here at mancheeze know exactly what’s going to happen from here. This woman will be vilified for years to come.

    It never occurred to these dimwitted MRA’s that the wider problems are the toxicity of entitled dependent geek culture and masculinity in general. They viewed this as a chance to call her a whore and a cheat, displaying their own inadequacies, immaturity,  and need to claim victimhood.

    When the media picks up stories of women being targeted by these entitled males many people rally to the woman’s side. The woman gets blamed for that too. She’s called an attention whore and is accused of ‘damseling’  but who are the ones that really want the attention? The healthy woman trying to make a career or the depressed entitled male sitting behind a screen typing out woman hating screeds and masturbating to porn all day?

    MRA’s claim they are victims of feminism and unsurprisingly they’re blaming feminism for Eron’s woes. I have no idea how feminism created this but feminism sure will fix it.

    Remember what these men did to woman gamer Anita Sarkeesian for analyzing games through a feminist lens? They made a video game where you could batter her and still to this day she’s getting rape and death threats from them. A couple of MRA’s are making a film to put woman gamer Anita  ‘in her place’ by asking for donations on Patreon. This is violence, online male violence. Luckily, in Zoe’s case, much of it is being taken offline but the harassment is just beginning.

    VII Sentiments

    A common theme in mens lives is how a man can GET sex from women as if it’s something you ‘work’ for or pay money for. Women aren’t seen as active participants and men call them ‘gatekeepers’ in order to claim oppression. Men also talk about sex as if it’s the only thing in the world they want. They define it as the only intimate act you can have with a woman. These men also have a term for their sexual frustration: ‘friendzoning.’ This term means a woman PUTS you in a friend space that you need to try and get out of if you can. It’s like a challenge to get out, a game. No never truly means no if you’re a guy in the friendzone. Men are accusing Zoe of friendzoning Eron as if being a friend is pure hell for males.

    In fact, one of the main ideas in MRA circles is that men are oppressed by women’s bodies. This theory clearly shows how men think of women, as parts, as objects that then need to be controlled. It’s not surprising to me that 21 out of 24 objectives of a AVFM involve controlling women in some way, from ending rape shield laws to wanting to control her reproduction.

    This aggrieved entitled group of men work to keep women out of these tech jobs through different ways. I had a guy tell me just yesterday to ‘get out’ of what he considers his gaming world. Remember too the professor at San Diego state I wrote about that said ‘math is male’ and who actively discriminated against women in STEM?

    This latest behaviour from the MRA gaming culture shows how much men try to control women. The idea that Zoe is a grown woman capable of having intercourse with multiple dating partners is unthinkable to them. She must be blamed, not the patriarchal structures of misogyny. Feminism, and by extension women, must be blamed.

    This is why my site is for women talk about all the ways in which patriarchy impacts their lives. We discuss how much men hate us. This is why this site is radical feminist. While I don’t want to alienate liberal/3rd wave feminists I can see why they’re not effective when it comes to this current backlash. Should we rally around Zoe and call her a proud slut or should we analyze and explain the systems of male power in which this event occurred in order to consciousness raise?

    The focus of third wave feminists on individual consciousness divides up women. We need to get collective again. We need to take a strong stand and refuse to work within the system, which is what I see many 3rd wave feminists doing. If you want a good lecture on this see this video by Gail Dines. Only after we understand the system can we break it. I

    And I want to break it.

    NOTE TO MANSPLAINERS: You will be mocked if you post patriarchal bullshit on my site.

    Dean Esmay’s Meltdown Over Me

    Esmay is getting his tooth fixed he announced in a Google+ hangout. This new developement was inspired by his TV appearance where he blamed a feminist professor for his missing front tooth. I think he realized he came off like a raving maniac and decided he might just hit up Paul to be his Tooth Faery. I wonder how much money Paul will leave under the pillow after going MGTOW on Esmay. I don’t even want to know to be sure.

    So anyway, I was talking to another MRA about the biological determinist theories they memorize in order to spew at feminists to commit the naturalistic fallacy. Dean was gloating pompously about ‘pair bonding’ on a Youtube comment section. I noticed this and commented to another MRA who seemed open to a conversation. Once I had the MRA on topic and ruined his argument he did the skipping needle routine and started screeching that ‘women are evil!’ Dean saw this conversation, feeling he had to step in and save face,  having a total meltdown.

    Dean Esmay

     

    Yesterday 6:05 PM

    +MMODoubter
    ‘A word of advice: “Mancheez” is a horrendously hateful, abusive, sociopathic, sexist bigot who lies constantly, and whenever she’s caught in a lie she changes the subject to something else. She will constantly misrepresent what others say, and you’re well off to ignore her completely; you aren’t engaging with anything but a manipulative sociopath when you deal with her bullshit. Even when she says something factually accurate, she puts the most hateful and bigoted and abusive spin possible on it (like her comments on “deadbeat dads” above, and her obviously intentional lack of understanding both of fatherhood and what “child support” actually means.You’re dealing with someone no better than a White Supremacist or a Klansman when you deal with Mancheeze, aka Diana Boston, aka about 5 other monikers. YOu’re better off blocking her, she’s truly a dishonest hatemonger of the worst sort.’
     
     
     
    MRA’s actually wonder why men are gunning for an early grave? I imagine Dean sitting there furiously typing without getting to close his eyes like he normally does, making him even more livid.
     
    Here’s another meltdown Dean had on Fox when he blamed a feminist prof for making 4X his income and most likely at fault for his missing tooth. Damn that feminist and her toof!
    BEWARE THE CROTCH TIE!
     
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