I question the motivations of Steven, a FtM trans person who wrote an article on AVFM. I have a few questions for Steven too.
To make clear, I’m not going to question your personal choices but I sure as hell am going to take you to task for some of the points you made about feminism and women. I’m sure you are well aware of the feminist analysis regarding the social construction of gender so I won’t repeat it but I do wonder whether or not your motivations in this article are informed by your anger towards feminists, your prior status as a gendered woman, and your need to be sexually wanted.
You changed your body. Nothing wrong with that but you said you felt like an extremist feminist. You say:
“Well, I must be an extreme feminist,” I remember thinking. “Because feminists are the only other girls who seem to get as angry at these things as I do.”
That says to me that you understand the feminist philosophy of gender. However, why would you call feminists ‘extreme’? Is it really extreme to understand that the objectification of women’s bodies is wrong? You admit that because you were seen as female you were seen as less competent than men and admit now that because you’ve transitioned you are seen as more competent. You don’t see how that gives you privilege? You said:
‘My distress never had much to do with social roles, and for the most part I did not transition in order to gain any perceived social privilege.’
It had everything to do with social roles and politics. You quite clearly experienced the social problems when you were seen as female. I think you are angry at feminist politics. I think that’s why you’ve decided to write this on a hate site.
‘Any time a man showed “chivalry” towards me, such as offering to help me carry something heavy, I was insulted and angry. I also experienced howls and whistles on a daily basis from men in cars when I went out alone for walks.’
Yes, you were seen as less able. You were objectified with cat calls. Now that you’re male do you get cat called? Do you get seen as less able? Of course not.
What really bothers me, aside from you writing this on a hate site, is the fact that you think somehow being male gave you more problems and that you could easily lash out at your prior feminine role.
‘I wondered if I made an ugly boy since I no longer received daily assurance that I was sexually desirable. It actually took a while to get used to not being seen as the physically attractive sex. My gain became an unexpected loss and I began to realize there are some things on the other side of the fence that you cannot see until you cross over and stand there. ‘
Not being beautiful isn’t a mediating factor of gender. Your loss has nothing to do with male and everything to do with what society considers beautiful. I will argue that being beautiful in women is directly related to being seen and heard, and seen as an object but men aren’t objectified in that way. It sounds to me like you’re more concerned with being sexually attractive and it has nothing to do with being male.
‘I was happy, celebrating the fact that I was no longer seen as just a piece of meat–although later I realized that now society either uses me or ignores me, because I’m not attractive enough to be a piece of meat. I’m instead just an ugly, hairy beast with a wallet and a pair of muscular arms. Or, I might say with some measure of irony, a piece of meat that doesn’t even rate a cat call.’
You enjoy being seen as competent and not a piece of meat but what? You think women see you as simply strong arms and a wallet? This is the problem with MRA rhetoric. It’s more about getting sex than it is about some massive social problems with being male. MRA’s try to make this case that men as a class are somehow worse off than women when it’s quite clearly not the case. Men are seen as full human beings and women are seen as body parts. You acknowledge that about being female but you seem too concerned with how ‘beautiful’ and ‘sexy’ you are and equivocate that with some massive social oppression that comes with being male.
You say you’re upset about having to make decisions all the time and how you have to approach someone for a date. Don’t you realize that being able to make the decisions is the part where you’re not objectified? Don’t you realize that asking someone for a date isn’t some massive gender oppression? In fact, feminists don’t want you to be the person that asks for a date, doesn’t want you to make decisions for others all the time. Yet, here you are, posting on a misogynist, anti-feminist website!
‘According to feminism male privilege guarantees that he has it so much easier than women. They laugh at the notion that it might be difficult to be a man in this society, because they can’t see the other side.’
If being seen as competent and the decisions you make are seen as competent doesn’t mean you are oppressed. Feminism doesn’t think men don’t have issues. In fact, it’s feminism, and not the misogynist MRM, that actually does things to address these issues. Feminism wants women to be seen as competent, as strong as men. Feminism created the philosophy that explains our gender socialization and the problems that manifest from it, NOT the MRM.
You quite clearly hated your ‘femininity’ but you’re equating it with feminism. It’s odd to me how someone who can write about the objectification of themselves as a female is so quick to take an anti-feminist, nay, in fact, misogynist view.
‘After a year of these experiences, and a year of listening to extreme feminist doctrine at my liberal arts college (which schooled me on the inherent violence of male sexuality, “rape culture,” “trigger warnings,” “safe spaces,” etc.. it seemed to me that many of them wanted to be seen as weak, delicate flowers rather than as strong and capable women), I began to change the way I saw things. I took the red pill, you might say.’
This is inherently misogynist. You just did a complete Orwellian 180 and made up what YOU think feminism is and not what it truly is. Rape culture exists but fortunately for you now, you won’t be the less competent woman being catcalled and sexually objectified. Not one feminist thinks male violence is inherent. Are you swallowing the MRA rhetoric of biological determinism? Do you even know enough about MRA rhetoric to understand that that’s how they see maleness? Feminism doesn’t see the violence as inherent. It’s learned. This Orwellian nonsense you’ve got going on is ridiculous. You’ve swallowed the red pill alright.
I think the most astounding thing is that now that you’re male you insist women should take care of men and submit to a traditional role!
‘Since women now share traditional male “privileges,” they also ought to share traditional male responsibilities; that is, to carry their own weight and acknowledge guilt when they are guilty, and to respect and care for the men in their lives like men respect and care for them.’
Do women not work for a living? Do women not want to have their own property, their own bank accounts? How are women not carrying their own weight? If a woman needs help moving something she suddenly becomes a weak little flower? Now it’s YOU enforcing the gender standards! You say we women have to care for you and respect you because we have male privilege. No. That’s you asserting your own male privilege of automatic respect because of what’s between your legs. I don’t have to respect you simply because you’re male. I should respect you for being human. It’s just too bad that this isn’t how our gendered world works, which you seem to have quickly forgotten about. I mean, you somehow think that opening a door for a woman is some kind of admittance that she’s weak? Whatever happened to being just a decent person? Besides, feminists don’t want chivalry because it’s often tied to what a male thinks a female OWES him (sex)if he pays for a meal, opens a door, or moves a box and you seem more upset about not having access to sex. Are you going to now parrot the MRA line that women are all gold digging, friendzoning, family-ruining cunts?
You’re quite comfortable in telling women to take responsibility because we’re so incompetent which you wrongly blame on feminism and yet you then have the nerve to end your piece about how we should care for you and respect you when you obviously don’t give a flying shit about us. You think, like MRA’s do, that any gain in women’s standing in society is a loss for you. It’s amazing how rape culture instantly disappeared now that you’ve taken the red pill. It went away for YOU.
I can’t respect anyone who writes this kind of uninformed anti-feminist rhetoric on a misogynist hate site. I think that red pill was all too easy for you to swallow.