Dr. Lol Elam Gets Bossy

If you don’t know about the #banbossy campaign, then look here first. If you don’t want to click the link, I’ll give you the short version. Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook decided to start a campaign for girls called Banbossy. It’s just an attempt to get rid of the word because of its gendered negative usage and says nothing about why that word exists in our culture.  Now that you know what it is I’ll quote this one paragraph by Jessica Roy on why banning the word ‘bossy’ is misguided.

While it’s always good to get people talking about supporting women and girls, the campaign rings remarkably tone deaf to me. Not only does it seem disingenuous to argue that girls being called “bossy” is one of the most difficult hurdles they’ll have to overcome, but banning “bossy” also won’t eradicate the root problem that causes words like bossy and catty and bitchy to spread–mainly, that it’s common for leadership to be seen as a solely male quality.

Paul Elam, now calling himself ‘Dr. Paul’, who runs the hate site A Voice for Men, wrote a long diatribe that displayed precisely why feminism is needed to get to the root of the problem: Patriarchy. In fact, one of the commenters explained exactly why the problem isn’t with the word ‘bossy’ but with an entitled male attitude:

However, there is something else here that we haven’t discussed and which is rarely even articulated. It’s something that women don’t know and do not participate in but they intuit it in the men they encounter.

That something is called male dominance hierarchy. Every insult, every playground fight or shoving match, ever touch down, every good grade, every friend a man makes helps place him higher (or lower) in the male hierarchy.

This is exactly why women, no matter if they are the boss or not, are relegated to second class in every activity that is predominately held by men. Men view women leaders as not deserving of power because it challenges their power. In a Patriarchal society, women do not possess power.

Thanks once again to AVFM for displaying once again why feminism is alive and well and necessary.


Sheryl Sandberg (center) with the banbossy pin on her lapel



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