A Voice for Men Admits Raping Women is Part of Male Sexuality and Identity

In a racist, antisemitic, and homophobic piece by John Hembling we find the male supremacist attitude that feminists have been exposing for decades. For some patriarchal reason MRA’s can’t differentiate between rape and male sexuality and that the discourse around ending rape offends them because according to them all heterosexual men are rapists.

John Hambling, the supposed ‘Rockstar’ of the Men’s Rights movement used racism, antisemitism, and homophobia to equate the message ‘teach men not to rape’ with this:

Teach n***rs to not steal” isn’t included in student or faculty public messaging. Nor does the CBC run ads reminding Jews to not cheat. And nobody is carrying a “teach Chinamen to drive” sign, marching through the downtown of any North American city. And no one runs “teach homos not to molest children” either.

MRA’s like John Hambling think that if you put enough hate in an article that the discourse around rape is going to magically go away. They want feminists to shut up about it. They want us silent.

The reason why feminists and allies say ‘teach men not to rape’ is because it’s women who are taught not to get raped as if it’s her problem, as if she initiated her own subjugation and humiliation. Keeping women as the focal point, the agent that is responsible for her own rape is where MRA’s want to keep it. Equating the message ‘teach men not to rape’ with horribly racist stereotypes is not only wrong, it teaches us more about the Men’s Rights movement than ever before.

These male supremacists object to the many ways our society has put the focus of the crime of rape squarely on the person who commits it and we all know in our culture it’s predominately men who rape. The question is ‘why?’ Is it something inherent in men as Hambling suggests or is it about the construction of masculinity? Feminists have answered that question. MRA’s on the other hand, think it’s an assault on male sexuality to be taught what consent means or to suggest that our culture should examine how males are socialized. Suggesting that men are human and capable of understanding the concept of consent is repulsive to MRA’s.

‘No doubt some new, cleverer imprecation of male identity will soon spill from the mouths of the modern cult of hate.’

In the MRA view, if you try teaching men about sexual assault and consent it’s an attack on male identity. If you acknowledge sexual assault statistics and explore the power dynamic of our society you are somehow shaming men. If you teach college men what consent is you are thwarting male sexuality. MRA’s say rape=male sexuality=male identity.

Hambling then attacks pro-feminist men, also called ‘manginas’.

Some feminists who also happen to be unfortunate enough to be male, even think so too. Of course they’re not like those other, bad men. They’re different, they’re the few good ones – the male feminists. The ones who, by superior education and socialization manage to not rape their mothers, sisters, female friends and colleagues. After all, men, when properly socialized can be trained to perform a number of different tasks, and can even be used as a source of revenue by careful female management.

The irony here is palpable. First, if you’re a pro-feminist male you are shamed for it even though the Men’s Rights movement is about ‘helping’ and ‘supporting’ men. In reality it’s about a small group of men who are totalitarian and want each and every man they come in contact with to be as hateful as they are. Second, Hambling admits, probably unconsciously, to the power of socialization which counters his entire point that men can’t and shouldn’t be taught what rape is.

Feminists certainly don’t think rape=male sexuality. Feminist discourse separated sex and power decades ago. Feminists insist that rape is about power, not something inherent in male sexuality. Feminists know that men aren’t born rapists. MRA’s give men no agency, and no humanity when they balk at the idea that we can educate the culture.

MRA’s think men are immune to understanding how our culture perpetuates myths about rape just like Hambling thinks Jews are dishonest cheaters, gay men are pedophiles, and niggers are thieves. They’ve even gone so far as to say rape culture is dead while simultaneously upholding the patriarchal message that women are responsible for their rape.

MRA’s have no knowledge of feminism and couldn’t understand feminist scholarship even if it bit them in the ass. Feminists don’t think it’s part of male nature to rape. We know it’s about socialization. We know it’s about power and control.

Ironically, Hambling gives us a glimpse of where the male supremacist movement is heading.

If, today, this rhetoric is something you give voice – then shame is what you should properly feel, and extinct is where your particular ideology of hate is headed.

Indeed.

 

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22 thoughts on “A Voice for Men Admits Raping Women is Part of Male Sexuality and Identity

  1. Off-topic: I’m blanching chicken feet (“paws”) and I was thinking about you and your bones. I was thinking how great this chicken feet broth with all its natural calcium, collagen and other natural nutrients would help your bones heal faster. I hope you’re doing well, healing fast and hanging in there.

    Okay… now, I’m going to read the post.

    • Thank you for thinking of me. My ribs are healing very well but my collar bone fracture isn’t. It’s just in a very tricky spot and it gets a lot of movement so it’s slower in healing. Plus I sleep and it hurts it too. I eat lots of protein. I have to. I mean, I would solely eat protein with very little carbs. In fact I’m having chicken tonight!

  2. Wow! I clicked the link and saw the scary picture. Rape is a social norm with men as by far and away the major perpetrators of that particular crime. That is a fact. But, if there is a problem other than one of socialization, what is it? Men are naturally rapists???

    Honestly, I don’t really know the answer here – maybe it is more than a social problem and men really are naturally just rapists as the MRAs assert. I’ve been living with the fall out of their violent behavior for decades, but I don’t know the reason why men do the violent things they do to women. I just know that there’s a problem – it’s called rape and it’s men who can’t seem to control their violent criminal urges.

    They need to fix their problem and stop blaming everyone else.

    • I think the short (and probably unsatisfying) answer is culture. It’s hegemonic masculinity. We teach males to value strength, violence, hyper-sexualization and the like. We distrust victims and feel sorry for victimizers. Our public schools and colleges value masculinity and sports more than the safety of women. This value system fuels misogyny and homophobia. That’s from my perspective having grown up as a man who never fit that mold. I was the “sissy” who never conformed to what I was supposed to, so I think I came into things with a unique perspective: I got a view of how many men acted without completely blended in with them and getting a totally insider status. Take it for what it’s worth though 🙂

      • I think you’re right; it’s hegemonic masculinity, which we usually call patriarchy, that is the problem. It’s the same almost the world over. But, I’ve been in countries where it seemed like less of a problem. Of course, from my perspective, that could always be me engaging in the illusion of safety. You never know you’re dealing with a rapist until that moment when he attacks. But, I’ve spent time in two non-English speaking countries where sexual assault was a lot less of a problem – or seemed to be from my perspective. I’ve learned that safety, anytime of day or night, is always an illusion. But, as a for instance, Mexico has about half the reported number of rapes the U.S. does. Of course, that word, “reported,” gets in the way of the truth, but I’ve always felt safer in Mexico and around Mexican men. Some of them, anyway, have a culture that has some kind of respect for women – it’s an old-fashioned culture by our standards, but it still translates to not being raped by practically every man you meet. Also, Germany, seems – emphasis on seems – a little better. Again, there is a culture of respect. For instance, I can’t imagine pick up artist culture surviving there because it goes against ingrained cultural norms. Men don’t approach women for sex or anything else.

        So, I definitely lean toward it being a social problem.

        What is hard for me to grasp as a woman living in this culture is at what point did they take the boys aside and teach them something completely opposite what I was taught – you know, stuff like “Keep your hands to yourself,” and not to run around committing senseless acts of violence against innocent people. I can’t figure out how our socialization is so very different when we are all from the same place.

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  7. Sorry but you got this backwards. Feminists believe rape is normal male sexuality. MRAs are trying to put an end to this stereotype.

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