12 Years a Slave

A bit of a rambly post of thoughts. I just finished watching ’12 Years a Slave’ and cried my eyes out. Some of the best moments in the film were extended silent shots of Solomon and the human expression of the actors and actresses blew me away.

However, my tears suddenly turned to anger as I reopened my browser window and looked on Twitter. Dean Esmay, one of the leaders of the ‘Men’s Rights’ movement had tweeted me some bullshit about me lying about the ‘Men’s Rights movement.’ I’ve called out his misogyny in the past.  He doesn’t engage the issues. He just says ‘you’re a liar.’ It’s like trying to talk to a 7 year old child.

My rage increased when I found these remarks from MRA’s on AVFM:

the treatment [of men] is equivalent to the same attitude and treatment of blacks and jews in other times and societies.

It reminded me, the anger did, that Dean Esmay, Paul Elam and the rest of the nincompoop’s over at a Voice For Men have appropriated other people’s suffering by comparing themselves to black slaves.

This isn’t the first time MRA’s have appropriated the suffering of other groups. They regularly declare themselves Jews through crappy metaphors. Those comparisons irk me because I am Jewish. There’s never a level where these guys won’t sink.

The appropriation of black slavery by a group of white heterosexual men is enough to induce severe anger and the need to vomit. Do they truly think they are being in any way oppressed like Jews, black slaves, Kurds etc.? It boggles my mind.

Apparently, while the world has been turning, these oppressed white het dudes have been getting tattooed and put into concentration camps where they’re barely fed and work over 12 hours a day. Apparently, these dudes have been put on a whipping posts and had their backs split open while the American people went through the British rock invasion of 70’s. We all missed it. The entire American population must’ve been comatose by some strange cultural brew.

I had no idea white straight males were systematically enslaved and forced to work for free. Warren Farrell was the only American who noticed this white male genocide happening under our noses. It got Farrell so worked up he wrote about it in ‘The Myth of Male Power.’ He gave Americans the single reason why men were, as a class, totally powerless: women’s butts.

I mean, come. on. people. It’s all logic and stuff.

Notions of the American male walking around in chains is the image these fuckwits are trying to sell, and they’re really not doing themselves any favors. Can you picture the Marlboro Man with a ball gag in his mouth instead of a smoke? What really happened to the American male?


Paul Elam happened. Yep, that crusty old gawky cocaine addict alcoholic woman-hater from Texas. He happened. I can’t imagine what it was like for a male slave growing up being able to afford cocaine! He probably didn’t even have a credit card to cut it and had to use some paper he stole from his master. Oh the OPPRESSION! Surely, slaves had no time to get addicted to anything, but Elam, in all his oppression and at least 4 marriages and divorces, found a way.

Dean Esmay. Who the hell is this guy? He’s just some dude from five fingers Mary. (It’s a Michigan reference, or so I’m told). Where the fuck does he fit in to all of this? If anyone watched the big ole Canadian protest last year you can see Esmay with a beer gut and the shakes. Did he take the Underground Railroad to get to Canada?

slave auction

All the white heterosexual males can be found here

And what about Karen Stringbeanhead and TyphoonBlue? Women in Canada had a slave past too? I wonder if they’re enslaved by female butts too?

Seriously people, this is ree-donkulus. I’m angry. I want these idiots to stop appropriating other people’s collective suffering. I know they get attention by rolling around on the net having mantrums but this is just maddening. Telling the whole world that white middle class males are the slave class is just, well, pathetic.

So listen up all you oppressed men with computers and food in your fridge:

Tell me how you are even remotely similar to Jews in WWII or black slaves. I reeeeeeaaally wanna know how video game-playing porn addicts, who obviously aren’t working, are like slaves. The MRA commenter who can explain this to me gets a surprise award and a desperately needed reality check.


18 thoughts on “12 Years a Slave

  1. I do think it’s important to note that Paul Elam and Dean Esmay don’t actually believe any of what they say. The ludicrous exaggerations aren’t made because they are stupid or mentally ill. They consider themselves to be in a war against feminists, and are using the tactics of war right down to their propaganda arm, using deliberate lies and reversals to obfuscate the historic oppression of women and destabilize feminists and feminist theory.

    Every instance of real oppression of women is being carefully targeted and attacked. That’s their m.o. It’s all coldly calculated and planned. Much of this planning occurs on the main AVFM private thread.

    To engage with a propaganda machine is to waste energy; to become emotionally involved with propaganda-inspired hyperbole is also to waste energy. We need to be aware of the actual motivations behind these seemingly clownish antics. I suggest we treat avfm as what it is: a misogyny site coldly dedicated to destroying the gains made after 50 years of struggle by women for their freedom, using amoral and unscrupulous tactics. Even the strongly negative attention they receive as a result is judged by them to be useful.

    A primer on the tactics used by this site: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation

    Having said all that, your description of Elam was funny as hell.

    • Glad you liked my description of Lol Elam. He really is a prize plum.

      That movie really had me shattered. At the end I was beside myself in tears. I was born in the North and being from a poor immigrant family from Italy I was relieved my ancestors didn’t take part in that and also glad that my family taught me respect for other cultures and people different than us. I never had to worry about taking any friend of mine to my family. We accept everyone as an individual.

      I’m very proud of my heritage and my family.

  2. Hi Diana,

    I enjoy your posts and agree with most everything, but respectfully take issue with a couple of things. If you would allow me…

    “Paul Elam happened. Yep, that crusty old gawky cocaine addict alcoholic woman-hater from Texas.”

    I don’t think that he is a former addict. I’ve had a thorough look online and could find no evidence of it what-so-ever. The juxtaposition of addiction issues with Elam’s obvious misogyny is also problematic – the majority of former addicts are liberal and well balanced. Except for the one I am about to discuss.

    Regarding Dean Esmay – he is actually a recovering alcoholic. He has written about this and, also, at some length about his “struggle” with his weight. The beer gut comment is, perhaps, a little off.

    However, what is endlessly amusing is that he has claimed online that he is a good public speaker. The video footage at that little get together confirms that.

    Elam has compared himself to Simon Wiesenthal in a video – II forget which one.

    Regarding the comment about whether he believes what he says and writes… I honestly don’t know. It’s difficult to accept that somebody could be so completely and consistently wrong.

  3. Yes, HMQ, how dare you make judgements or criticize the psychotic dick-wielders who are promoting violence against us… it’s just so unfair!

    I don’t know those guys, but that wild-eyed freak from Texas certainly looks like a boozer to me – former or otherwise. He, also, looks totally unhinged.

    I make no apologies for this observation. I’ve seen lots of perverted, old drunks in my time, so I feel more than qualified to make such judgements.

    If you think that’s a bad thing for a woman to dare to say about one of these nasty old bastards, you should hear some of the things nasty old bastards have been saying about me since I was a small child. Nobody has ever called them out on it – not once. No one ever says that it’s not fair to say those things about a girl or a woman. Oh, but dare to make a completely rational observation about a member of the violent pervert-oppressor class and *you should be ashamed!*

  4. Addiction affects men and women equally. Describing someone as an addict shouldn’t be meant as a pejorative.

    I didn’t say anyone should be ashamed. I think it’s quite obvious I agree with HMQ and that I’m implacably opposed to Elam and Esmay.

    Elizabeth Vargas self identified as an alcoholic. People that criticise her for suffering that affliction deserve to be challenged.

    • Let me tell you something, UniDrummer: If I mean to use the term “addict” as a perjorative, I will feel quite free to use it that way.

      I whleheartedly disagree that addiction affects men and women equally, having been victimized by men high on cocaine and booze on many occasions. I have been victimized by enough of those men that I have zero sympathy whatsoever for drunks and coke heads. Maybe if some gigantic hairy asshole high on coke literally jumped on top of you and flattened you to the floor while your personal body guard had to whip out a gun and put it to his head to get him off of you would understand. Maybe if your first experience with a man’s penis was having some stinking old drunk corner you and put his dick on you when you were 13-years old, you would understand. But, I doubt it. Your sympathy seems to lie with the sick, perverted addicts in this case.

      It’s really interesting how MRAs and men in general are allowed to call us cunts, whores, bitches, etc, etc., and do all kinds of disgusting, perverted and violent things, but if a woman responds with anything other than sweetness and light, she is paternalistically chastised like she’s 5-years old.

      • According to CDC ( http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/mens-health.htm ) men’s rates of alcoholism are much higher than women’s.

        Also, I’ve never been raped or nearly murdered by a drunken woman. On the other hand, I’ve had numerous terrifying, life-threatening encounters with men who were drunk or high.

        I didn’t check for rates of other forms of addiction, like cocaine, but most of the dangerous, violent coke heads I’ve ever known were, also men – some of them bank presidents, lawyers and accountants. Cocaine heightens male perversion toward women – that I know. I have no idea how it affects women, but I’ve never been attacked by a woman on cocaine or any other drug.

        So, in NO WAY WHATSOEVER does addiction affect men and women equally.


  5. Regarding the white man’s appropriation of the legitimate suffering of genuinely oppressed people: I think this is what they mean when they say what they are doing is “satire.”

    Provided they haven’t fried every last one of their brain cells with addictions they could not possibly believe what they say. I’m sure that what DeutschundMusik says is true and they plot their moves in secret before they do anything publicly. It’s only logical that this would be the case.

  6. WOTW – you are conflating points and getting in a muddle.

    Are MRAs lowlifes? Of course. Does that make make using ableist terms acceptable? No, of course not.

    I am not trying to diminish your experiences, I had no knowledge of them. What I am saying, however, is that it is not acceptable to use addict as a pejorative, and that I couldn’t find any information to demonstrate that it’s even accurate in Elam’s case.

    You are accusing me of being a troll when I am simply putting forward a POV that doesn’t even detract from the main thrust of the OP – which I endorse absolutely.

    Please exercise some restraint in future commentary towards me.

    • It is not acceptable to tell other people what to do and how to speak. You are in no position to make demands of me or anyone else. The lack of restraint here is entirely on your part since you seem to feel at perfect ease telling everyone else how to speak, what words to use, how to use them, etc.

      You are an impertinent, little pip-squeak as far as I’m concerned and if I’d recognized you as a troll sooner, I would not have responded at all.

    • I called him an addict because he was an addict. I don’t know if he still abuses coke and alcohol. He has stated this himself and has also stated his rage boner against women started in his addictions counselling job. I don’t see where WOTW used any ableist slur against anyone. Her experiences aren’t under scrutiny here.

      • Do you have any evidence of him being an addict?. I’ve looked extensively for any evidence of it and couldn’t see anything. I think he cultivates the image of being a “rock ‘n’ roller 60s/70s dude”, a party animal, but I don’t think he was. I think the hippy era passed him right by, try and he might to reconstruct himself. I reckon he’s been a bitter, angry man from quite a young age.

        Using the term addict in a pejorative manner could be construed as ableist. Addiction is an affliction.

        He *is* a misogynist, of course. But that has nothing to do with addiction – and I’m pretty sure it pre-dated his counselling job.

        If he was counsellor, and is a former addict, then he would be following a very firm set of principles that would involve self-analysis. I think it’s quite clear that he hasn’t.

        Anyway, like I said, I’m, not trolling – I’m just pointing something out. And many women are afflicted by addiction – many of them as a result of abuse they have suffered.

        • You made my point better that I could in your comment. You would think an addict would have self awareness. The fact is, he doesn’t, and he admitted on a video that he was addicted. That’s why it’s a pejorative. I believe it’s one of his weekly shows from his channel. It was a brief comment but I heard it.

          This is WHY he went into addictions counseling. It obviously didn’t help him grow up and put his big boy pants on.

          I’m not going to handle him with kid gloves.

          If you’ve ever heard him speak about his fellow female counselors you’d know he didn’t heal nor did he self analyze.

  7. I won’t respond to you again. Your anger and insults make you appear just like the MRAs you detest so much.

    I absolutely stand by my points – I didn’t tell anyone what to say, what words to use or how to use them.

  8. “Tell me how you are even remotely similar to Jews in WWII or black slaves.”

    The hatred of jews began long before WWII. It was socially accepted and a part of the culture. Villains in litterature and movies were often jews. They were described as greedy capitalists who were the cause of all problems.

    Today it’s not acceptable to hate jews or other minorities. But it’s ok to hate very large groups such as men. You can’t hate black men or jewish men but if you just call them “men” you will get away with it. Just like jews were demonized men are now the target of society’s scorn. They are blamed for all problems and their human rights are taken away one by one.

    I’m not surprized that some men in desperation call themselves feminists. They are like self-hating jews or flaggelants. Either you resist the propaganda or absorb it and seek penance. I will never do that. Proud of what I am. No hateful ideology can change that.

    • Bwahahahahahaha! This comment wins the Silly Award and a block. I knew some dudebro would attempt this. Tell me how it feels to be in a concentration camp and without any way into the professions? You poor thing. Your rights are gone? Hahahahahaha!


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