Rape is a huge topic in the Manosphere, from the insistence that women are always filing false reports due to ‘regret sex’ to the posters AVFM made in response to an effective public postering campaign by SAVE to educate people on consent. The slogan ‘men can stop rape’ is an anathema to MRA’s. Their response to the slogan is curious. They think they’re being called rapists. The question is ‘why?‘
Men Don’t Worry About Rape
Then there are MRA’s like John Hembling aka JohntheOther who make videos saying ‘I DON”T GIVE A FUCK about rape victims!’
Recently he double down on the video in a new one titled ‘I still don’t give a fuck about rape’ after furiously trying to erase his old video by falsely DMCAing anyone who had a copy. In this video he addresses me as a Youtube feminist.
First, women dress up to go out dancing, to be attractive.
Second, women dance in such a way to be sexual and thus attractive. That’s rather the fun of it, eh?
Third, to ‘go out dancing’ means that women intend to dance with a series of men, therefore actively attracting them closer.
And then, she drinks.
Upon consuming alcohol, she is suddenly – ACCORDING TO THE LAW – impaired and incapable of giving considered consent and any man she has attracted and then has sex with her, has – UNDER THE LAW – raped her.
Since women now have these nifty new laws to “protect” them from being taken advantage of, a woman can’t legally say “yes”.
So, I’d pretty much have to agree that – LEGALLY – any woman that goes out drinking and dancing is at least asking to be raped. Remember! All rape is rape!
This is one reason among several that I just don’t care about rape anymore.
He’s saying that women who are dancing and wearing certain clothing are doing it for male attention. Male attention means rape. Alcohol is the secondary component that he thinks should absolve the man of doing what is ‘natural’ and that the dancing and clothing mean she’s asking for it. This seems to be the mindset of MRA’s and plenty of other men too. Are men just too stupid not to rape or are they feigning ignorance hoping the spotlight doesn’t shine on their coercive strategies?
When I asked this MRA what clothing and dancing had to do with anything he claimed that the clothing industry was a ‘multi-billion dollar industry.’ This typical mansplain is what I like to call the MRA ‘skipping needle’ routine where once you corner them logically they skip to a new topic, a new song on the vinyl.
Rape Isn’t That Bad Because It’s Natural
I ran across another MRA blog called Deansdale’s Blog where he questions the severity of rape in a post titled ‘How bad is rape, really?’ He makes a hypothetical list of 12 horrible things that could happen to a person wherein the last 3 are rape scenarios. He tells women that if they didn’t choose the last 3 rape scenarios they’re crazy.
So what’s the purpose of men trying to compare rape to other horrid human tragedies? What I find interesting is that women must choose an option, and therefore must choose rape. What are women complaining about when it’s not as horrible as a drunk driver smashing your hipbone or becoming financially bankrupt?
Men keep rape around because it’s a tool of oppression. If men truly wanted to eradicate rape they’d be postering their locales with ‘Don’t be That Guy’ posters and educating themselves and other men about consent, not posting on their blogs about how insignificant it is compared to other human tragedies. It does suggest, in this case, that Deansdale recognizes the magnitude of suffering a rape victim endures.
I’ve seen many men, and especially MRA’s say rape will never go away and that it’s a natural occurrence that’s been going on since the dawn of time. This is yet another mansplain to let women know men intend to do nothing to stop it and want it around to use to keep women in fear.
False Rape Accusations Are Worse Than ‘Real’ Rape
Recently, Jonathan Taylor of A Voice for Male Students published a piece on false rape accusations on AVFM titled ‘Ten Reasons False Rape Accusations Are Common.’ In it he uses anecdotes from the mass media. The study MRA’s use to declare false accusations are common is Kanin’s study. It’s so methodologically flawed it should be removed from any serious discussion of this issue. MRA’s also like to point to the Innocence Project which uses DNA evidence in old rape cases to exhonerate the accused who’ve been convicted. However, MRA’s never explain that those who are exhonerated are usually black and just a case of mistaken identity, not a false claim.
The Duke Lacrosse scandal is another oft mentioned retort to the argument that false rape accusations are rare. What wasn’t so rare about that case was a bunch of white jocks hiring strippers who weren’t supposed to be black and then yelling racist shit at them while they stripped. That kind of entitlement, the jock who thinks he can do what he wants, is everywhere. This one case doesn’t remove the Daisy Coleman’s and the Oksana Makar’s from the world. The fact is, for every case Jonathan Taylor cites as a false case, I can name 100 that aren’t false, that are happening now.
In his list Taylor claims
‘Female students are systemically taught that sex is rape when it is not, essentially being taught to make false rape accusations.’
This is patently false as Universities are giving freshman students lectures on sexual assault, what it is and how to report it. Taylor scoffs at universities clearly laying out what sexual assault is. He takes issue with things like verbal sexual harassment of women by brushing it off as not important but he’s really angry that colleges are being incredibly specific on how to not sexually assault women. The reason, in my view, is that it becomes harder for men to do what they’ve always done: coerce. Now that it’s more difficult, men are angry. Sexual assault isn’t important to men because they don’t experience it the way women do.
Taylor tries to boost his thesis by listing out-of-context feminist quotes. He quotes Carol Bohmer: ‘In this book we will be using the term victim to refer to people who claim to have been sexually assaulted.’ This is supposed to be Taylor’s gotcha moment. Problem is he didn’t read the book because it was taken randomly from a page on Google Books.
Perpetuating Rape Culture
On the men’s rights subreddit there’s a post called ‘What Feminism Taught Me About Rape.‘ As you can already guess, the post is flooded with sentiments on rape culture and is exactly the opposite of what feminism teaches. One MRA defined ‘acquaintance’ with incredible detail because he didn’t want to accept that a man a woman knows intimately can rape her. He also complains the statistics will be inaccurate if we count intimate partner rape.
Your best friend who you know well and trust intimately is not likely to rape you. Most rape is committed by “acquaintances.” A man you met at a party who rapes you later that evening? That’s an acquaintance. The way statistics are tabulated, a prior relationship of “5 minutes of conversation” counts the same as “being your best friend since grade 2.”
Men love to tell women how to handle rape, not how they, as men, can prevent it. One MRA recommended women fight back to ensure physical evidence and that women who do fight have a good chance of stopping the attack. Once again the onus of stopping rape is on her. He cites a stat but never the source. It was obviously pulled from his ass. Another MRA added
‘As someone else said, encouraging women to not be victims and fight back would actually stop a whole lot of unwanted sex, but feminists would be out on the street screeching “teach men not to rape” within 5 minutes.’
He warns women about drinking as if women are not allowed to drink like men drink, which is exactly what that means. He doesn’t comprehend that making women change the amount of alcohol they drink is a form of victim blaming. What he’s teaching other men is that a drinking woman is partially at fault and asked for it. Notice how he switches the language to ‘sex?’ This word substitution for rape is prevalent in men. To me it signifies that men think rape and sex is a blurry concept. Why else would they switch words? Thunderf00t is notorious for doing this too. This is a perpetuation of rape culture.
How Can We Stop Rape If We’re The Rapists?
In this comment an MRA reinforces the notion that it’s the deranged male psychopathic and not average men who are doing the raping.
‘The typical sexual predator has sociopathic personality traits and low-empathy, which makes education a completely ineffective means of reduction. Men who rape do not rape because they are ignorant of what rape is, men who rape simply don’t care’
First, he’s wrong about men knowing what rape is. Judge Michael Mettyear of the UK recently showed a rapist empathy because he wasn’t a ‘classic rapist.’ Also, a UN survey in Asia asked men about rape, without using the word, just scenarios of forced sex and asked them if they had engaged in it. Many of them did.
The majority of rapists are men. This is undisputed. So why are men so offended and change the subject when we ask them to stop raping? The answer to me is clear. They want to continue this practice and oppression. They want the blurry lines where coercion is an option. I know that when a bunch of MRA’s gather on a reddit thread talking about rape that they’re going to continue to perpetuate rape myths and tell me, as an individual woman, that not only do I have to be afraid of these guys but that I will be victim blamed if a man chooses to rape me. It’s a choice to rape. A choice.
Many men don’t see it as a choice. They see it as inevitable. That’s part of the problem. If you see rape as something that can’t be stopped, which is what men tell us all the damn time, then the oppression and rape of women will continue. The oppression of women by men in this way is something that can never be tolerated.
‘any good cop knows that is a lie. the f.b.i. is getting to where it lies almost as much as its boss. probably replaced good men in power w/ halfwits and weirdo’s like in the rest of government.
with practically no punishment for making false claims, and long before reason returns to honest men, one might reasonably expect the real rate to reach 8%, in the other direction (8% true). false accusations don’t really cost women and girls anything. you can’t even put their names out there to be punished by society as innocent men are from the first false accusation.’
Just call the cops and the FBI a bunch a liars and use the term ‘real’ and you’ve got mansplaining rape down perfectly. The Edmonton police put the rate at less than 1%. I guess those cops are just lying too right?
Rape On Campus
In California, Bill 967 is causing men to quiver and, in my opinion, for no reason at all. This bill forces universities that are getting money from the federal government to step up and adopt a new preponderance of evidence standard along with clear guidelines for students, faculty, local police and local women’s services to handle rape. Men aren’t happy that now the rapist is the one worrying about crossing a lower standard instead of the victim trying to prove an almost impossible one. Some men are suing universities for expelling them after being found guilty of rape. I think that men finally bearing the brunt of responsibility is the right way to go. It will stop being women’s sole problem.
I also think, and have stated in the past, that men do know how to ply women with alcohol and they appreciate the fact that there’s space for them to get away with coercion because the beyond reasonable doubt standard allows them to say ‘she wanted it.’ I expect a lot of lawsuits brought by men at their colleges. It’s all part of male backlash.
Hans Bader from Legal Insurrection disavows the bill because he says most communication is non verbal and ‘haggling’ shouldn’t be a part of sex, especially with couples who know each other. Hans obviously doesn’t know much about rape though because most rape is between people who know each other. His is a legal opinion but also a male one. He argues that sex between long term couples will now be considered rape. I don’t understand how that could be unless ONE teensy tiny thing is given: consent.
It’s also apparent from the comment section on Hans’ article that men are infuriated. One commenter writes, after giving us a lesson on the ‘nature’ of men and women:
‘So, the whole idea here seems to be to give females a chance to get revenge on males if they feel day-after remorse. For the most part, the females voluntarily put themselves in the position they found themselves in, with the full knowledge of what might, or maybe was likely to, happen. They got drunk, hooked up, and regretted it the next day. Maybe the guy didn’t call them back. Something like that. But, before thinking that the females can only win, keep in mind that males are more and more dropping out of the dating/mating game, and are getting harder to nail down into marriage, as the reality that the deck is stacked against them becomes obvious to more and more of them.’
The comment section is full of disgruntled men who now are put on the spot to have consent, enthusiastic consent, and they hate the idea. I can’t help but think that they’re overreacting. Some of them are purposely making this complicated:
‘Just handout sexual consent forms at Freshman Orientation. And, remind the male students that whenever they receive one from a female student to make sure that it is notarized.’
I see no women in the comment section, just men. They know they can’t coerce anymore. One of them even flat out admitted that this kind of male pushing and female resisting was just part of normal relationships. I suppose that’s why education about rape and consent it so important.
Men can stop rape but they don’t want to.