On twitter the hashtags #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft are trending. Women are sharing their stories and explaining why it’s not so easy as just ‘leaving.’
Janay Rice sent an instagram to Twitter explaining her disappointment at the video being made public and that by making it public it has irrevocably harmed her family and her relationship with Rice. She focused on how horrible it was to ‘relive’ the moment.
Some women need reminding of what they’ll tolerate. This is not to blame her but I think if someone showed me a video tape of what my ex would do to me, I may have left sooner than I did and done it in a more calculated way to protect myself. Nobody should blame Janay for staying since we women know how hard it is to leave. As I said yesterday on a comment section, it may be he’s already threatened to murder her.
AVFM and MRA’s have said NOTHING in response to the video of Rice beating his girlfriend unconscious. Instead they focus on the fact that she married him as a way to blame her for being beaten. In fact I got a tweet from an MRA org yesterday in response to this post that said Janay married Ray. Marrying someone isn’t permission to be battered but to MRA’s it seems that’s the case. To me this shows how these men, and many men in general, truly think about battering. They don’t take it seriously because it mostly doesn’t happen to them.
Next time MRA’s whinge that women are beating up men in the same frequency and severity (which is statistically false), let’s remind them of their blaming of Janay, Rice’s wife and how nonchalantly they treat this problem.
MRA’s are always quick to jump to the defend guys who beat the shit out of their wives. In the case of Ray Rice, professional football player, there was a video of him dragging his unconscious wife out of an elevator that made the rounds online. MRA’s were quick to point out that his wife probably deserved it because they ‘didn’t know’ what actually happened inside the elevator. All the video contained was Ray dragging his wife unconscious, out of the elevator.
Here’s the sportscaster Steven Smith blaming women for men beating them and doing the typical mansplain double-speak we women are accustomed to. MRA’s flocked to his defense too.
In response to Smith’s ‘don’t provoke men’ diatribe in which he was suspended, Elam weighed in:
‘ESPN Sportscaster Stephen A. Smith was suspended from his job for making the common sense observation related to the Ray Rice incident that women should not provoke violence with men. He was basing that on the knowledge that the woman Rice hit (and who later married him) had admitted to hitting him first.’
Elam has gone on record saying that if a woman hits him, even if she’s ineffective and can’t do damage, that he will hit her.
‘I am 6’8” tall and 285 pounds. If a woman five feet tall and 110 pounds soaking wet hits me, I am going to hit her back. I would do my best to return the violence proportionally, to just use enough force to stop the attack, but I can make no guarantees. Depending on the suddenness of the attack, the level of fear or threat I might feel, the impulse to self-defend in measured amounts is difficult, if not impossible to predict with any accuracy.’
Aside from Elam’s giddyness about battering women, we have a new development. Turns out Ray Rice DID beat her, like most women knew anyway, and there’s a tape of it.
Here’s the of him beating her released an hour ago. The NFL gave Rice a two game suspension AFTER they viewed the full tape that was just leaked a few hours ago. So far the NFL has said nothing on the matter but now that the full tape is online I suspect we’ll hear some mansplaining from all corners of the manosphere.
My suspicion is that the NFL covered it up. Men hide other men’s battering as part of patriarchy. We know how many male athletes get passes when they rape and batter because they’re so commercially valuable. This is just another form of male violence against women that is justified in our culture.