Monday Open Thread

We’re due for a relaxing, winding-down thread. So much going on lately! I need to chill the hell out.

I know my readers have noticed me editing male supremacist/MRA comments by putting pictures of gay porn in their comments. I’m sorry. I really am. I know most of us don’t want to see silly dicks that all look the same. I’m doing this because I know how homophobic they are and it drives them nuts. Yesterday some angry dude, who I think is an asshole john from Twitter, posted at least 10 comments where he was verbally violent to me and us. None of his bullshit got through. I edited it all.

I can understand if you don’t want to see gay male porn. I don’t really want to see it either but there’s a method to my madness!

I am reading Woman Hating again. Andrea Dworkin broke down homophobia really well in that book and from what I gathered, to heterosexual misogynist men, being gay is like being a woman. So what I’m doing is taking male supremacists and giving them what they understand to be humiliating. Part of me wants them to understand that this is done to women every day, every millisecond, and I do it in the hopes there’ll be some lightbulb moment. I’m not hopeful though.

If some angry dude is gonna try to violate me verbally then I’m going to smack him upside the face. It’s as simple as that. I do not take any crap from men. If you try harming me in any way, I will make sure I get you. You don’t want to be humiliated? Then stop coming here with male supremacist blabberings that don’t make sense.  Yeah, this is one tiny little fucking dot of space where women can speak their minds and you’re not getting free reign here. Deal with it or get kicked in the metaphorical nuts.

Get this: I don’t like any of you. I am wary of ALL men because the abuse of women in our culture is a non-stop event, a non-stop nightmare. On street harassment did you fuckwit males patrol other men to get them to stop? No. Instead you’re all whining about it, and on the C36 and JianGhomeshi hashtag  you’re either violating more women or using women’s suffering as clickbait for your silly exposes on how you’re a ‘good guy’ while the woman next to you is probably being sexually harassed by a male in your workplace. So you can fuck right off.

I don’t give cookies out to men for being humane to women. That’s expected.

In more positive news, I love good cuisine. I have a store next to me that sells lots of different foods from around the world. I got this fig spread that’s spicy. It’s made here locally. My GOD is it good. I got some cashew butter too and some of those thin crispy bread things. I put em all together and yum! Perfect for computer snacking.

Okanagan Falls Spicy Fig

Okanagan Falls Spicy Fig

My wild house mouse Cheech is doing very well. He’s a bit pissed off because the lighting in my place has changed. My 3-way 100 watt floor lamp died. The switch in it is fucked so I had to use the overhead lamp with a 60 watt bulb. I hate it too. However, one of the security guards at my building gave me an 80 watt desk lamp to compensate. It’s much better.

Cheech usually waddles out a couple times a night and I sit on the floor with him with an open jar of peanut butter next to me and let him crawl inside the jar and lick. Most of the time he gets up on his 5-toed feet and licks the top of the jar. His little eyes squint as he licks. The other night all you could see was this jar of pb with a crooky mouse tail sticking out of it. I couldn’t resist. I touched his tail and he got mad and ran away.

A minute later he scampered back. He’s just being a little Prince who doesn’t want his tail touched.

I’ve been tweeting a lot on the #C36 hashtag on Twitter. I’ve had johns abuse me, calling me a cunt and sending me porn. I block them immediately. Let me put it this way: the only thing I haven’t got yet is a rape threat but I suspect that will happen sooner or later.

The pro-exploitation lobby has no argument so instead they’ve been attacking exit programs and john schools for getting grant money from the federal govt. They’ve been personally attacking Sen. Joy Smith and other politicians. In general, they’re being assholes. Some of them start new accounts just to attack survivors. They’ve even stooped so low as to call the bill the ‘Pickton Bill’ after a serial killer of prostitutes who confessed to murdering 49 women and lamented he didn’t get to 50. Their rhetoric is so fucking disgusting but it’s all they really have.

Laws don’t kill prostituted women. Men do.

I painted my nails peacock metallic blue and watched a couple feminist movies over the weekend. One was about Bikini Kill, the punk group of Kathy Hanna. I’d love to find some online copies of her E-zine. I don’t know if she considered herself a radical feminist because she may have taken the wrong view on prostitution but she definitely spoke our message in many ways. I was so inspired I went on Twitter trying to find women in Vancouver to start a homemade radfem e-zine. I’d love to take submissions from my readership here as well.

Peacock

Using a blue metallic and green metallic I achieved this look. No, those aren’t MY nails.

These ARE my nails in 'Jade' which cost me 3 bucks.

These ARE my nails in ‘Jade’ which cost me 3 bucks.

I also watched Frida, a biography about Frida Kahlo. I loved the film because unlike a typical Hollymanwood movie she fucking told her husband he was a bastard and was more talented than he was. You’ll love it.

Frida Kahlo with pet Fawn 'Grani'

Frida Kahlo with pet Fawn ‘Grani’

If you have any feminist movie recommendations leave em below. I’ve found a good list of them but as usual, they’re hard to find for free online, never mind Hollymanwood ever promoting one and Disney sucks rocks mostly.

Dec 6th is ‘Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women.’ I plan on going to events on Dec 6th, which is when C36 will take effect. I plan on hooking up with some of my radfem sisters on that day.

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35 thoughts on “Monday Open Thread

  1. “I know my readers have noticed me editing male supremacist/MRA comments by putting pictures of gay porn in their comments. I’m sorry. I really am. ”

    Well, I for one enjoy it! Its amazing to actually see men being objectified for once, to bad we can’t catcall them, shit they would actually enjoy that. But not when I am with the girls. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UWxlVvT1A

  2. Happy Monday! Re the photos, I know they’re your way of fighting back. I can deal. Also I like how you let some hate comments through but take the sting out by re-naming the men and taking over. MRAs are masters of verbal assault and we do need some protection to be able to speak here comfortably, but I know it’s a balance.

    Your fingernails are beautiful. I could never do that. I like decorating my toenails though.

    Haven’t seen Frida for a long time. I thought it was Hayek’s best movie.

    Good luck with C36. Good to hear about it.

    When I want to forget about patriarchy, here’s an intriguing, profound, and yes, soothing site: I’m an atheist but I let myself go a little bit Bhakti over this:
    http://www.mother-god.com/

    • Thank you for the link. Another great site to soothe me after dealing with so much ‘white god’ misogyny.

      Yeah, I love my fingernails and toes. I keep my hands and feet spotless. I suppose it’s a quirk of mine.

      I have this scrub that I put on my fingernails and toes to clean them, and then I sit and watch feminist movies and paint them. It’s good for a disabled woman to have things to do that require sitting and focusing.

      I think that’s why I do origami too.

      I should’ve shown my wrist and nails in the jade photo because I have a solid green and lavendar jade bangle that never comes off. It’s Chinese women’s tradition to wear one and you have to get the right size and scrunch up your wrist and fingers so that once it’s on, the bangle doesn’t come off. I’ve worn mine for 7 years and I’m ashamed at how much it cost me so I won’t say.

      I bought it when I was a researcher for a hospital. I was making incredible money.

      • I go in spurts with nail polish. I like Sally Hansen because it’s reasonably priced and doesn’t have a lot of bad stuff in it that you find in other brands.

        Right now, I’ve got Sally Hansen’s pink Chamapgne Toast with a sprinkle of gold glitter on my toes and a teal green with green sparkles on my fingernails.

        I’m here by myself. (So, I’m not doing to to please menz! Obviously!) It’s a fun thing for me. I like playing around with different colors and combinations. It’s relaxing and somehow reassuring.

        I have very long hair, so I have these homemade curlers I made. They’re like telephone wire from the hardware store covered in fabric. They’re great for getting long hair, which can be heavy, out of your way for sleeping and sometimes other activities. The fabric is attractive, so it looks nice enough to wear out, although I never do. And, if I sleep on them over night, I wake up with great curls! It’s fun stuff.

        I know it’s not characteristically rad fem stuff, but like someone else said (can’t remember how, but I can’t take credit!): You have to have joy in your life. You can’t let the menz steal everything from you! And, i’m not going to change something I’m doing because some dudebro thinks the world revolves around his schlong!

        • I do it for it’s artistic value. It’s like playing with paint colours, which I also do. I’m a watercolorist with no paper though because it’s so damned expensive!

          My favourite Chinese brush broke 6 months ago so I have a ton of cheap Chinese rice paper and no brush to paint with. LOL

          I managed to get a great collection of watercolour brushes but the Arches paper is just too expensive.

          I really need to paint again. After watching Frida, well I watched it twice in 2 days now, really inspired me again.

          When I did my nails last night I used two diff colours to get the peacock blue. I did break my left middle fingernail so it sucks.

          I just have this thing about well manicured fingers and toes.

          I’m going to do my toes tonight. Not sure what colour tho. They look best in corals and pinks but they’re deep mouse-grey at present. My beauty blog here has the colour of my toes.

          It’s a spin off from the Nordic Collection of OPI. It’s this grey sepia colour that SH came out with the knockoff.

          http://housemousebeauty.wordpress.com/2014/11/04/winter-opi-2014-nail-colours/

          The fact the colour has Great Dane in it is awesome since they’re one of my fave dogs. Gimme a big ass dog any day!

          My neighbour got kicked out of my building for his blue pitbull. Apparently she was pregnant and bit a guy. He probably tried fucking with her pups or summat.

          She loved me though. I’d see her out in front of my building and she’d run right up to me, put her cold nose in my crotch and wag that tail! She’d lean into me to get me to pet her.

          I’m usually stand-offish with pits but she was a delight. She had this happy face and you could see her smiling.

          Maybe she didn’t like men or something and only liked women because she adored me and I adored her. Hell, I’d take her on if her owner had to give her up. That’s how bonded I was to her even though I interacted with her only 4 times.

          I’d see her, bow my head to hers and say ‘HELLLLO baby girl!’ Tail would start immediately, nose leading. Wow, I’m gonna miss her.

          • Lots of animals don’t like men. My cat is terrified of men. The water meter readers were here right before Halloween. It’s a man and a woman. I was talking to the woman from inside my window and my cat was right there next to me. He was fine with her, but when the man appeared, he started hissing and throwing a big fit at the guy! I said, “Happy Halloween!” My kitty did not like that man being there. He’s only seen one child, a little boy, and he hissed and ran from him on sight, too.

            Similarly, one time I had cat toy, which was a long feather boa. We were playing and it sort of coiled up on the floor and resembled a snake. My cat, who has never been outdoors – he’s strictly an indoor kitty – jumped back like he’d seen a rattlesnake! So, I think it’s something in their genetic memory or something like that. They instinctively know potentially deadly predators – even they’ve never seen one before.

            I like your beauty website. I’ve never been there before. I am now following.

            I believe OPI is the other brand, besides Sally Hansen, that is cited as a particularly responsible company in that they do not put a lot of deadly poisons in their products. I’d love to try it, but I don’t know where to find it around here. I assumed it was a pricey brand.

          • It is expensive so I don’t buy all that much of it. I have a few colours that are just too good to pass up. I’ll def buy their metallics and I just got one called Miami Beet, which is from their classic line.

          • Just curious: About how much does that stuff – brushes and paper – cost?

            I used to do acrylic on wood – I’ve sold quite a few pieces. That was many years ago. I just don’t have the time. Acrylic paints are pretty cheap.

          • Well the brushes are by far the most expensive investment but it’s the damned paper that you have to keep buying.

            One thing of paper is $30-40 bucks for say 20 sheets.

            My Chinese brush that eventually wore out was $40. It was top of the line.

            My brushes were collected over 20 years. I have a LOT of brushes.

            The dealer that sold me the Chinese brush was a professional calligrapher. I live in Chinatown so I can get a replacement but damn they are expensive.

    • This film is filled with so much symbolism! The opening scene is a surreal dream that tells you about this woman, Joan’s, miserable life as a middle-class housewife.

      Every time I see it – and I’ve watched it probably 100 times! – I see something I didn’t see before. Just now I realized that Joan is swinging from between two trees, which look like a hanging apparatus – like for hanging witches.

      The DVD version is the best. I don’t know which version I’ve linked to, but it is an amazing film and one of the few where the patriarchy gets a shot to the head in the end.

      • Cool! I was just thinking about how amazingly *subversive* that movie is. Earlier today I was re-reading an excellent post by Witchwind, “Taking Notes on Male Activism,”: http://witchwind.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/taking-notes-on-male-activism/ In this post she talks about how male activism is recognized and respected, but women’s activism is not. I couldn’t say it any better than she did.

        I could compare “Season of the Witch” to Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis” or other movies that expose the conditions of oppressed people. But, it seems like it goes over a lot of people’s heads – especially men’s. They see a woman being chased around her house by “the devil” (it’s not the devil! It’s the Green Man.), an older woman having sex with a younger man, some witchy stuff and some violence. But, they can’t put it all together to see that this is a film about female rebellion against male colonization.

        It’s probably one of the most subversive things I’ve ever seen!

        • Well I watched it and was fascinated at the opening dream sequence. It was HIS dream she was in.

          He casually walks through nature, obliterating her as he goes. Off to the side you see his ambitions,

          The child sitting in the narcissus was particularly powerful as men see women as reproductive copy machines to copy them. That’s what the narcissus flower were symbolizing in my view, they were his narcissistic demands to reproduce.

          Totally awesome.

          I didn’t like the young guy. I’m glad she kicked him to the curb and of course glad she got her abusive husband in the end.

          You can hear the MRA’s in that movie too, at the end where some cop says ‘women take it all from a man’, meanwhile it was HER that was being subjugated by him.

          • Yes! I’m glad you liked it!

            The men in the movie are completely oblivious to what they’re doing to the women – like in the opening sequence when he’s walking in front of her through the trees and the branches are slashing her face. You see the expression on her face at the end of that short bit, too, which seems to plead, “Why can’t you SEE what you’re doing to me.” But, he presses on in oblivion.

            That’s an excellent call on the narcissus flowers! I never noticed that before.

            The baby in that dream sequence is explained in the extra DVD footage. The baby died – and again he is marching on oblivious.

            The young man in the movie is repulsive. He was equally repulsive in “There’s Always Vanilla,” which is a commentary on the Free Love era of the early ’70s. It’s an interesting move, but not very good and kind of disturbing. (If you buy the DVD, it’s on the flip side. Romero directed it, but he didn’t write it.)

            There’s a lot in this movie about the hopelessness of women’s lives in this gilded cage of middle-class suburban life. Shirley, for instance, is concerned about her looks slipping away. The tarot reading reveals that her husband is having a secret affair. At the same time, she is repulsed by her husband – you hear this in the discussion between Shirley an Joan in the car after the badgering session in which she is needled and harangued by the young man until she just cracks.

            The women’s lives are empty, so they fill them up with card games and community projects.

            I think it’s significant that Joan sleeps a lot – like she might be depressed.

            You see this amazing transformation in her once she breaks free of her prison – which is largely a mental prison as the shrink tells her at the beginning of the movie: “The only one imprisoning Joanie is Joanie.”

            I love that movie so much!

            Yeah, the cop at the end, “Damn women. They always get it all from us in the end.” How ironic! Men steal women’s entire lives, but they often do it as Joan’s husband did – in a state of complete unawareness. It’s like we’re just blades of grass on a lawn and they crush us beneath their feet without any sense of our humanity.

          • Yes, the sleeping. She’s in white in the opening sequence but near the end she’s in a blue flowered blanket.

            White is the purity, the sleeping beauty that is sleeping through her whole life and the only time she wakes is through a man’s will.

            Indeed a great symbolic movie.

            I have a question about the daughter. Was she raped in that room? Is that what was going on?

            She ran away and never came back and to me that was a sign of independence that spurred her mother onto hers which is something that happens a lot in mom/daughter relationships when the mother was a slave to a husband. She sees her daughter’s greater freedom and wants it.

          • I never got that she was raped. But, I think she was upset that her mother was listening in. Joan was supposed to be spending the night at Shirley’s house but they had that fight in the car on the way there. Shirley was pretty drunk. You see her fall down.

            Then, Joan comes back home. The young guy’s VW bug is in her driveway and she goes into the house. She grabs her “To Be a Witch,” book and heads upstairs. She overhears her daughter and the boyfriend in her daughter’s bedroom.

            The next part is a little weird, but Joan is Catholic and very sexually repressed and probably does not experience orgasm. So, she sort of cuts loose, imagining that it is she, not her daughter, who is experiencing the ogasms in the other room. She’s rolling around on the bed and such… then, the girl comes in and says, “Beautiful! Just beautiful!” – in the next scene we learn she’s run away. This plot device allows Joanie to explore her own sexuality and actually initiate herself into witchcraft in the next scenes.

            We don’t know exactly why the daughter was upset, except that maybe she was embarrassed that her mom overheard and we don’t know if she realized that her mom was getting off on hearing the two of them in the next room.

            When the boyfriend reveals that he and her daughter are just friends and not girlfriend/boyfriend, Joan, at first, has trouble wrapping her mind around this free love thing. Before 1965 (7 years ago), women didn’t do that.

            By having sex with the boyfriend in the subsequent scenes, she’s doing a bunch of different things: (1) She’s breaking down her own sexual repression. (2) She’s violating religious principles she believes in as a Catholic. (3) She’s violating the terms of her marriage. (4) She’s using the energy to conjure the demon Virago (If you look up the word, Virago, it means “powerful woman.” So, she’s breaking all these barriers down and conjuring up her true self, which she is terrified of.

            Her fear of her own true nature is represented in the dream where the guy in the Green Man mask chases her around the house. The Green Man is a symbol of nature, of a return to the country from the city, and a return of women from patriarchal religion to the practice of witchcraft.

            So, back to your question. I think the daughter was just upset that her listening in. But, this was, also, a plot device to get her out of the movie, so other things could happen.

          • Yeah, that really confused me.

            I hated the scene where her husband hit her. I wanted to eliminate him right there but all’s good, she eventually got rid of him.

            I’m going to watch it again because the sound is so bad. I could barely hear what they were saying even though I had my speaker volume almost maxed out.

          • The quality of the film is not great. Even the digitally remastered DVD has a little background fuzz.

            It’s fun to hear the lead actress talk about making the movie. She says she told “her husband” to really do it, to really hit her and make it good. So, he did – and when he stood back up, the plaster in the ceiling cracked over the top of his head!

            She says a lot of strange things like that happened on the set. One of the things that blew my mind when I first saw this movie was that I immediately recognized the rituals, some of which they modified. For instance, The Summoning of Virago is actually The Summoning of Vassago (one of the most pleasant demons from the Goetia). There’s no mention of Paul Huson anywhere in the credits, but Joan’s book, “To Be a Witch,” appears to be his real-life book, “Mastering Witchcraft.”

    • I said double-barrel… that’s wrong. It’s just a regular shotgun and she’s doing a fine job sticking those shells in there at about 1 hour and 22 seconds in.

      It reminds me of a lot of my recent nightmares, which I’m still having occasionally. It’s always loaded but usually I just can’t get awake! And it’s all so real – even as I’m coming out of it and waking up, it seems so real!

      I can imagine even in the scene where she’s pulling the trigger that she isn’t even sure if she’s awake or having a nightmare because that’s how real life is – especially when you live with a lot of violence from men and threats thereof.

    • Putting this on my list. I generally have really low standards for movies (are there women in it? Are they active characters? Do they kick ass? Good enough.), so it’d be nice to watch something better.

  3. Also, the movie, “Up the Sandbox,” with Barbara Streisand is very good. I have the DVD. I was very lucky to run across it in a bargain bin at a flea market. It just sparkled like a jewel! It’s a pretty heavy movie and like “Season of the Witch” it is filled with a lot of dream sequences. So, sometimes it takes a split second to realize that she’s dreaming – or sometimes fantasizing about what she wants to do in a situation but can’t because she has to be a good wife, a good woman, a good daughter, etc.,

    One of my favorite scenes in “Up the Sandbox” is when she goes to a press conference, and she stands up in the middle of a huge group of people who are listening to Fidel Castro, and she corrects him about women and war. She says some pretty radical things… then, because it’s all a dream it starts to turn very weird after that. It has an open ending like a lot of movies in the 1970s did. In the end, she gets in a cab and drives away from her husband and children. We know she is pregnant, but we don’t know where she is going or if she is ever coming back.

    It’s interesting to hear Barbara Streisand talk about her own feminism and her interpretation of that ending and how her interpretation changed as times have changed.

    I had no idea what an amazing woman and what a truly beautiful woman she is until I saw this movie! I totally recommend it. But, prepare yourself – it’s a little deep. You’ll be thinking about it for a long time after you see it the first time.

  4. Another movie – which is not properly “feminist,” however, it does involve two women who are sisters, who own and run a very big cosmetic company. It’s a movie about economic class because at the beginning of the movie they’re two big snobs who take a lot for granted. But, then a rival sets out to destroy their company by means of sabotage! They lose everything. This is a comedy, so it’s not sad – but they lose it all, nonetheless. (They’re polishing their nails and doing a home spa for each other and the nail polish remover clashes with the candles and potpourri and the whole place goes up in flames! It’s pretty cute, actually.)

    So, now they’re poor and they see what they have taken for granted and how they treated people who were less fashionable than themselves.

    I thought of this when I was doing some other stuff here and thinking about your nail polish and your pet mouse! They have to go to this pro bono lawyer, who they insulted previously, to get help. And, at one point one of the sisters disses his cat! Yes, all the cool people have little tiny dogs that fit in bags and tea cups! So, you *can* be judged by the pets you keep, apparently! I know you are familiar with this because I read the troll comments at your blog! LOL!

    This is a really cute movie and it’s all about the girls! It’s fun and it will definitely help take your mind off stuff – whereas, the other two movies I suggested, which really are feminist movies, might make you think about it even more when you don’t really want to.

    The movie is called “Material Girls,” (2006) starring Haylie and Hillary Duff. Maria Conchita Alonzo is in it (I remember he from the ’70s. I love to say her name out loud just for fun!) and, also, Angelic Huston is the arch-rival of the girls. It’s cute – nothing deep, nothing too traumatizing – just fun.

  5. Oh, totally O.T. – (I know I leave a lot of comments here, but aside from my own blog, this is my only social outlet!): You may recall that I mentioned I had a guy stalking me a few years ago and I saw his creepy bald head in a listing of people incarcerated in the local jail. Well, he’s out. He’s been stalking another woman and they finally posted more information about his case.

    I did not consider this guy one of my most dangerous stalkers. I blocked his calls for a while and finally changed my phone number. I, also, avoid the place he works, which is a popular place here – almost everybody goes there at some point for entertainment purposes. (It’s not just him – I have to scan the parking lot anywhere I go over in the neighboring town because of a rapist. I, also, wear a lot of hats and sunglasses – winter and summer!) But, I never considered this guy much of a threat, really, only a nuisance.

    Well, I guess may assessment was way, way off. He has been ordered not only to stay far away from his most recent victim, but he’s been required to attend some sort of classes to learn how not to batter and abuse women. The woman he was stalking was not a domestic partner, either. He has a habit of stalking random women he comes in contact with. He’s on 5 years probation. I guarantee he won’t be able to keep from harassing women, so I look for him to be back behind bars sometime soon.

    The point of my story is that you just cannot tell how dangerous these men really are. I really had him pegged for being fairly harmless. But, he was arrested for “abuse” of an adult and “aggravated stalking.” So, he apparently he’s capable of violence against women… I know, I know – surprise, surprise… But, I’ve dealt with so many much scarier stalkers. I *was* a little surprised.

    • Yeah, I have an MRA online stalker now. It’s that backwater redneck dude Jack Barnes.

      People on twitter have to block him because he’ll tweet about me and then they’ll retweet me in the convo

      He was pretty active yesterday. I have a post about that coming up. He’s just a silly nuisance but it’s getting to the point where I may have to report him.

  6. I admire the nails. I have no skill with nail polish, so I use pale or translucent stuff when I do. And I’m intrigued by the fig spread. It’s local to me too, and I’ll have to see if I can find it.

  7. Did you ever watch “Fried Green Tomatoes?” That’s a good one. I have the DVD. It has lots of very interesting extra footage on it. I had no idea Fannie Flagg was such a genius!

    The only thing bad about that movie is that it does portray some bad abuses by men. I got physically ill from one of the scenes – the one where the man throws the pregnant woman down the stairs. I was in bad shape for a few hours because I got caught by surprise with that scene. But, it’s good – as long as you’re prepared. It has a good ending… kind of reminds me of that Goodbye Earl song by the Dixie Chicks.

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