Paul Elam’s Poverty

There was only going to be one of two defenses to the Buzzfeed article that confirmed what most knew about Paul Elam already: a deadbeat dad many times over, a drug and alcohol addict that got arrested several times, a racist, a child hitter (of a boy), a rape apologist, and a financial leech of women.

In less than 24 hours Elam’s response on AVFM had over 200 comments and rising. Looks like Buzzfeed hit a nerve. Elam even admitted that after the story was published he had a sleepless night.

After a long, emotional and sleepless night last night, I am no less committed to seeing this through than I was the day before. Nothing has changed, except perhaps that some of you know me a little better now.

The first responses were spewed forth by Dean Esmay on the comment section of the article itself. He basically counter attacked Adam a classic case of projection and then leaned on the Gamergate mantra of ‘journalistic ethics’. It must be understood that Elam was contacted to give his side to Buzzfeed and chose to be an asshole mostly saying it was none of their fucking business.

‘Server, who showed himself to be filled with rage and contempt towards the attendees of the International Conference on Men’s Issues, refused to answer questions himself…It’s clear what Server’s motivation here is: revenge, using Buzzfeed as his mouthpiece, for the fact that he was exposed as a hack journalist 6 months ago on our pages…Serwer’s co-authored it with a hate-filled feminist with a record of making unsubstantiated allegations herself.

Dean doesn’t understand that journalists are the ones that ask the questions and the interviewee responds. We can dismiss the ‘hate-filled feminist’ as she’s not the racist deadbeat dad who hits little kids. This is an example of the entitlement MRA’s have. Also, it’s not really evidence of hack journalism when the source is AVFM. Just saying.

On AVFM it’s a similar yet different response. Sage Gerard, who has the highest rated comment basically just shot the messenger and reassured AVFM’s donators that Paul isn’t rich. Gotta keep that money flowing in.

Oh, and god help us all if Paul decides to run A Voice for Men for a living. If something eats 70-80+ hours of your week, you can’t hold down a fucking job on top of that. Where do you think his food comes from? Do you think a unicorn delivers a feast to his house every day? To you fucktards who hate Paul so much, remember that I’ve been in the man’s house. He doesn’t have gold hubcaps, bitches and hos funded by us suckers, it’s just like any other lower middle class house.~Sage Gerard of Zen Men

I’m sure all the Skype conversations with Elam’s big team he never pays takes 80+ hours a week. His daughter admitted he spent all his time on the computer trolling. So no, you can’t hold a job down when all you do is sit online and write angry misogynist screeds and collecting money while your arse goes numb. Well, maybe you can.

‘When Elam was on the road, he would entertain himself by participating in what Bonnie called “internet troll wars” about men’s rights. Elam has said that he “started AVFM from a semi truck, with a laptop, driving 10, 12 hours a day.” (“I’m a determined person,” he told BuzzFeed News.)’

Not determined enough to get a job and stop making other men pay for his computer trolling time I suppose.

But there’s a bit of a twist here. Elam sent an email to his daughter in 2010, when the site was up and running and he was raking in money every quarter, hand over fist. The email to her:

‘I am struggling to find work, living off Stacy and have used up every dime of savings. I am in a state so bad the only thing I can compare it to is when I was shooting dope. I have buried myself in writing because it numbs the pain and makes me think of other things, like instead of feeling like a failure.’

This is very odd since in June of 2010 Elam started AVFM but was editing Men’s News Daily just prior. Did MND collect donations? How much money did Elam make from that?

In 2011 Elam was having very successful fundraisers on AVFM and when you read the following, you understand why Elam didn’t go back to work.

When Stacey’s father died in 2011, the couple moved into the apartment her father had been living in, according to public records. Eventually, Bonnie said, the two weren’t even dating — she called them “roommates” — Bonnie said he was driving Stacey’s car and spending Stacey’s money. He didn’t go back to truck driving.

Elam had several fundraisers in 2011 starting with 2 fundraisers in February. He had another one in June where he asked for 5 thousand and another in December where he cleared $5,600. There’s no way to check on how much he actually made but with most fundraisers he usually reached his goal and then some. So the question must be asked: why was he making his daughter pay his phone bills when he was 1) living with a woman who had an income he was living off of as stated above and 2) was more than likely fundraising on MND and definitely doing it early 2011?

The other fact is that while he was living in an apartment in 2011 he quickly used the donations to buy a home where he now lives. This new home is downplayed by another MRA leech Sage Gerard, who runs a campus MRA group called Zen Men. Sage Gerard just cleared $7K when he lives at home. Add on another $13K just prior to the KSU gathering and he’s got a lot of money. He claimed the money was to keep him from dipping into his tuition and to feed him but he lives at home.

‘One month without your support, and it would be impossible to keep up with my tuition payments, let alone feed myself.’

I suppose it was for food?

In Paul’s case none of the money was spent on ‘activism’ unless you call lying about feminist death threats and then having a gratuitous fundraiser ‘for free speech’ which cleared $32.6 K.

His daughter clearly knows he’s a leech and doesn’t contribute anything financially in his relationships. Drug and alcohol addicts take and take and of course in Elam’s case I’m sure he had to shell out expenses for his multiple arrests which his girlfriend probably paid.

And finally, in 2014 after collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars, Elam sent his public representative Dean Esmay on a major news network with a missing tooth and a horrible suit when he could’ve easily helped another man with a few thousand dollars to fix his tooth. Other men besides Elam, paid for that too. The bill was a measly 3K.


18 thoughts on “Paul Elam’s Poverty

  1. From the AVfM comments:

    Have I every used the word nigger in my life? Please. I was born in 1957 and mostly raised in rural Texas. I did not know anyone who did not use it at some point. -Paul Elam

    Anyone want to screencap that shit?

    • Done. Thank you for this. I appreciate it when my readership helps out. I really do. I encourage all my readers to do this and directly email me at with tips and happenings so I may write about them. It’s a great strategy to have as many eyes on them as possible. Mostly I do this by myself so when people help I really love it.

  2. So much to say about this.

    Did anyone notice John Hembling saying in the Buzzfeed article that he was involved in the money collecting and they were always trying to break even?

    Very odd for many reasons. Hembling himself has been trashed as a liar and thief by Elam, who oughtta know, but Elam’s such a deliberate liar, who can believe him? As for Hembling, he has been kowtowing when Elam trashed him – he seems to want back into the fold – so who can believe anything he says?

    Does anyone at all think Elam keeps an honest record of the donations and reports all to the IRS? Raise your hands…I thought not.

    One of the sickest things about AVFM is the number of fools who send money to Elam with him saying, Yeah, I use it for my refrigerator. And they keep sending it. They send when he claims “feminists” threatened his conference venue (a lie, as he admitted later). They send it when his flunky Sage Gerard impersonates a janitor to get into the the women’s bathroom at his school to paste up hostile AVFM posters. They send it when Elam announces he’s decided to destroy some girl or woman who has displeased Elam by saying something online he doesn’t like.

    Elam lived off his first wife’s military pay, sold her belongings to shoot up, and has lived off his current woman for years, it seems. It’s his way of operating. His main source of income seems to be women he preys on. It’s sick.

    Then he puts up self-serving posts about what a martyr he is, and moderates the comments with blocking and sockpuppets so it looks like the fools all support him. He buys Twitter followers so it looks like he has more followers – he’s been buying stats for years. He manipulates the shit out of the fools who follow him.


    He’s a house of cards.

  3. Other than Sage Gerard, who is dependent on Elam for money and threats, is there anybody else supporting him? Straughan is long gone. Judgybitch is outed and going to get her ass kicked if she pushes it. Esmay is a schmuck. Hembling, Davison, and Woolly Bumblebee are dumped and not happy, Elam’s family hates him. Who’s left? Suzanne McCarley? Look at her…

    Who else? Attila, haha, Vinczer the Mad Romanian? Who cares?

    • How do you know Karen Straughan is long gone? I haven’t been keeping myself up to date with the MRA because I always end up getting so angry when I read their stuff, but I’m curious about her supporting him or not.

    • Rose, I only know from rumblings here and there and not seeing her on the site.

      House Mouse Q, that McCarley video is a hoot! A classic of the MRM.

  4. I’m quoting somebody on reddit: against menrights, and hopeit’s ok”

    Leagle_Egal 58 points 1 day ago*
    If anything, this is even more puzzling. The issues Elam is most vocal about haven’t even affected him personally.
    He rails against women using men for financial gain (golddiggers, “divorce rape,” lazy housewives eating bon-bons all day, etc.) yet he’s been married 3 times and has used every wife as a financial support rather than being the breadwinner himself.
    He constantly brings up child support as some kind of modern-day slavery for men, yet he was easily able to escape that obligation himself and has never had to spend a penny on it, despite having multiple kids.
    He complains about mothers gaining custody, and how difficult it is for fathers to be involved in the lives of their kids once they break up with the mother. Yet he gleefully, voluntarily cut himself out of his kids’ lives (TWICE in one case!).
    He complains that “false rape accusations” are on the rise because women are using them for their own financial gain, or out of revenge to ruin a man’s life. Yet, for personal gain, he was more than willing to accuse his own wife of lying about her rape. No evidence, he just wanted an excuse to get out of child support.
    (Edit to add): He also is quick to point out the horrors of boys being abused, particularly how women are apparently more likely to do so. Yet he was quick to strike his grandson for basically no reason, after only having been in his life for a few months.

    • I wrote a comment on the Buzzfeed article saying the same part you posted at the end about how Elam hits little boys. Each and every comment I made on Buzzfeed was erased. While I liked the article. I won’t be going there again if I can’t comment and yet MRA’s can shit up the comment section with inane shit.

    • I’d wager that a huge number of women would be happy to accept no additional child support if it meant terminating the father’s rights, which is what Elam’s ex, smartly, did. But MRAs aren’t interested in that. They want to use partial custody to control their exes and pose as loving fathers, they just don’t want to have to pay for the privilege.

      My father wasn’t full MRA, but he was determined to exercise his “rights” to me even when that amounted to me sitting around his house bored out of my mind because he worked 100 hours/week.

      • Yes, in the case of these father’s rights activists ie. MRA’s who are woman abusers it would probably be beneficial for their exes to be able to completely cut them off. they have invented some new ‘diagnoses’ to harm their exes and children. One of them is PAS, parental alientation syndrome which is a way of gaslighting children. It goes like this: father is an abuser, divorce, child doesn’t want anything to do with him, father blames mother for ‘alienating’ him and he goes to the court and says it was all her fault the kid doesn’t want fuck all to do with him, the child then has to go with their father even though they don’t want to.

        This ‘syndrome’ isn’t recognized by any mental health body but some courts allow it anyway. This is why women involved with these abusers must know about this prior to court because this is what he’ll try and do. It’s sort of like, he is angry so he has to continue abusing his ex and kid.

  5. I’m going to need hours of David Attenborough nature programs with cute animals to bleach my mind from this latest attack. I was watching his old series Trials of Life last night when he went to Burundi to see the gorillas. I leave you all with some lovely stuff after the toxic dump just left here by someone I blocked on Twitter for being equally atrocious there as well. That’s why she came here.

    Trials of Life!

    • I erased all troll comments. I’ve contacted who I need to and that’s the end of it. I don’t want the off topic crap. MissAndry, I had to erase a couple of your comments because they were responses to the troll.

      • While I hate erasing your comments MissA, I had to to eliminate the troll stench. I hope you understand. I blocked an exploiter of women and they got butthurt so they came here to start problems. They had their 15 minutes of fame and hopefully won’t come back.

    • One more thing about The Trials of Life, I love nature even though I realize it’s harsh out there for animals. In Episode 10, at the very beginning, African men work with a honey bird. The bird calls them and directs the men to a honey comb the bird can’t get into and the man digs it out and places a big piece for the bird and takes the rest back to the tribe. That cooperative element between humans and animals fascinates me and gives me a great human feeling towards the natural world. In fact, there are fisherpeople who communicate with the dolphins and they help the people fish. It’s very cool.

  6. Parental Alienation is indeed used by many of these fathers but sadly it is something that both women and men use in a bitter divorce when the question of each parent being loving parents shouldn’t even be examined. These idiots are ruining it for the men/women that have valid cases before the courts of a bitter ex contaminating their childs mind against them or just plain and simple – denying access because they are that selfish they use their child as leverage. Every avenue these degenerates can use they exploit and it makes it even more difficult for the parents that have real problems and valid cases. It makes me sick. As for the nigger comment….. Napoleon told the founder of the Ontario Coalition for Accountability that the Holocaust never happened, it’s one big farse and nothing more than Jewish propaganda. Good grief 😦


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