CAFE Still Trying To Find Male Victims

CAFE is making video after video of men who were supposedly battered by their girlfriends or ex wives. I did a post on the first video they released of Julio, a man whose daughter called the cops on him for strangling her mother.

The second video is about Steve. If you listen to his story you’ll see there are huge gaps. First he’s walking in the door and his wife is aggravated and the next sentence he describes him holding her down while she has a knife in her hands. He went to the police who told him flat out he was a bully and that women were his targets.

If you listen closely to his story you’ll notice nothing seems to make sense and there are small things in his story that jump out and let me know that the cops were right about him.

Then the realization hit. Once he decided to leave after 22 years his wife disappeared with the kids, never to be found. This is the clue, the big clue. If someone is abusive they feed off the one they abuse. They never let their target leave. We know this through decades of research on domestic violence. The fact that his wife ran away from him several times tells me that in fact, he was the bully the cops knew he was.

CAFE’s little quest to find all these male victims is failing miserably and the abusers are the ones walking through CAFE’s doors to tell their stories of ‘abuse.’ It’s a fact that men tend to overestimate domestic violence towards themselves while women underestimate.

It’s not a surprise to me. After all, I’ve done this for years. I’ve monitored the Manosphere and know they are basically the ‘abusers lobby.’ Abusive, misogynist men tend to attract like-minded men. This is what CAFE is doing.

I bet if I could see the police records of these men it would confirm that these men are actually the abusers.

I’m willing to put money down on this.

I’ll leave the video of Steve here for you to listen to so you can hear what I did.

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21 thoughts on “CAFE Still Trying To Find Male Victims

  1. Oh, the poor menz have so many sad fee-fees.

    The reason nobody, including the cops, believe this dude is because he’s not credible. Huge mo fos being afraid of their wives, being unable to escape their wives, being traumatized by knife-wielding wives, etc. is simply not credible. It’s no more credible than dudebros claiming they can click their ruby slippers together and change the sex they were born with. Nobody believes it because it’s fantasy.

    Not only have I had experience with huge men who strangle women, I’ve had one experience with a knife-wielding rapist. Little people or people with weak upper body strength don’t favor knives as their weapon of choice, as a rule. The reason for this is that a larger person can easily take it away from you and use it on you. Again, it’s larger people who use knives on smaller, weaker people. Also, the reason women don’t attack men directly or fight back during abusive episodes is because we’re going to end up getting killed faster that way. We have to catch him when he’s asleep or otherwise not expecting it.

    The rest of it is a lot of reversals. It’s like watching Karen Stringbean talk about how it’s really women who founded the U.S and wrote laws to oppress the menfolk.

    It’s men who won’t leave the situation and won’t leave women alone – which is why his wife and her children had to runaway to escape him (not the other way around)! It’s male abusers who are relentless, who will attack you from behind the instant you turn your back. It is the abused wife and her children who are traumatized and suffering from anxiety. Dudebro just turned it all around the way these MRAs regularly do.

    Men like this end up murdering their wives and their entire families. This must be a bad case for the cops to have taken the woman’s side. usually, they don’t believe women or just don’t care.

  2. I couldn’t really pay too much attention to what he was saying because he kept cutting his eyes to the top left (which is generally a tell sign that he’s making up his story…in most cases, when digging into the imagination, a person will cut their eyes to the top left…digging into the memory is generally a cut to the top right.)

  3. Of course there’s no way to know what the objective history of this marriage is since we have only one self-serving statement in which one party to the marriage has obviously been encouraged to talk primarily about his emotional pain and has not been “interviewed” but simply made a statement about his side of it. As a document of the pain people go through when in terrible marriages, I have no problem with his right to make such a statement. If it is defamatory the wife has her remedies.

    Marriage in general has always IMHO been a disastrous institution for women, and with the reform of some laws such as the laws that automatically once granted custody to the father, men are feeling the pain women have felt forever. Women once took on all that pain if they ended a marriage, and that was one of the powerful unjust mechanisms that kept them in unhappy, unequal, abusive marriages.

    Marriage only “worked” when women’s entire legal identities were subsumed into their husband’s. Then if a woman ended the marriage (which was made very difficult to do due to other patriarchal controls such as religion), the husband still controlled the divorce arrangements. Now men are feeling it: if they leave, she may be raising the children, and he will lose everything that matters to him, unlimited access to his kids.

    The main problem of marriage reform is that it has only shifted some of the pain to men in some cases. Marriage is (in advanced countries) now legally an equal arrangement of two people in alliance who produce children and then may become enemies. The best interests of the children are then usually served in the courts by having them live in a stable home of one parent, not continually being moved back and forth. The courts are not legally allowed to take into consideration the parents’ pain, much less their convenience. Then one of two good divorced parents may not have equal time with the children, and this is often a real loss for which that parent has my sympathy. The biblical story of Solomon’s “division” of a baby is illustrative here.

    There is a natural tendency for the parent who is not granted primary physical custody to blame the other parent for what feels like his or her fault. But I think in most cases the fault lies with the institution of marriage itself, which inherently leads to pain for one parent or the other (often, both). I think there are still ways to have children without the risk of this pain of loss, but I won’t go into that now.

    In the video this parent’s account has a number of”tells” as you say, House Mouse Queen. How could a “bigger” man who is “athletic” and studies Tae Kwan Do stand there while his wife stabbed him with a pen, socked him, and scratched him over the years? If I were a cop, I’d wonder about that too. He couldn’t easily and automatically deflect that? Wait a minute, something’s wrong here.

    Then he recounts an incident where he was at his “home” – he says “we were separated by then”, and a fight occurred. At about 12:18 he contradicts himself massively by saying “I was still refusing to leave”…”I was still trying to muster the strength to separate”. Obviously he was refusing to separate and leave the family home and possibly she already had an order for him to leave that he was violating.

    Then toward the end he blames his wife for alienating him from his children. Since it was a 22-year marriage I assume they were in their teens or even adults, Any false allegations she made about him to the children would be confirmed or denied by their own observations of his behavior while they were growing up. He states that he got shared custody, and there’s no indication she opposed that. Then he says he hasn’t seen his kids in years. I have to conclude that they were the judges of whether to see him or not, not the mother, and the phrasing leaves open the possibility that he stopped seeing his children at least partially for his own reasons.

    It would be interesting to video the mother’s statement about the marriage, upload both videos, and then try to form a picture of the marriage. But this one-sided video is an emotional appeal to MRAs, not a real attempt to understand a marriage gone wrong.

  4. Hi, Woman of the Woods, hope you’re well!

    I just wanted to add a comment to your statement: “Men like this end up murdering their wives and their entire families.”

    In the video at the beginning the man talks about his naivete and how he believed his wife was “the love of his life”. This is a socially-constructed faith, as statistically most loves don’t last forever. I’ve read that in fact that the “in love” limerence thing only lasts about four years, just long enough for nature to make sure the baby gets a stable start.

    But if your society/religion/media/government/peers/family/traditions all keep drumming it into you that when you marry it is supposed to last forever, it means that if the marriage goes wrong and you still love the other person, the other person is acting outside all moral boundaries and must therefore be evil. You can’t see that your (false socially-constructed) expectation was at fault. Believing she is evil for frustrating your expectation, you may think you are only righting a wrong if you harm her. If you look at murderers of spouses when divorce is imminent, they feel driven to do what they do because of her (and rarely, his) evilness. Then that same social system that encouraged such murderous behavior with false expectations, puts the murderer in prison and the kids fall apart.

    All this is inherent in the institution of marriage. The sooner most people stop marrying, the better.

    • V.,

      You are correct about this. Although, you give him more credit than I can. I don’t believe for a second that he thought he’d found “the love of his life.” This is just the romanticized B.S. men think they’re supposed to say when they talk about their wives. He thought he’d found a patsy. He thought he’d found someone he could push around, someone he could dominate, subordinate and repeatedly rape in a legal and socially acceptable fashion. It’s her humanity that angers him. He tried to destroy it and he failed – she got away and the cops don’t buy his B.S. story.

  5. It gives me chills when I hear the perps version of how abusive his victim is to him by trying to fight him off and running away over and over. The body language is creepy as hell and the clincher is that the children want nothing to do with him. PAS is a scam that abusers use to convince judges to give the perp access to his target.

  6. CAFE is in a mess anyway as a result of accepting five or six grand in a scheme with an AVFM staffer (later ex-staffer), WollyBumblebee (WBB).

    AVFM has been accusing WBB of theft (I think maybe embezzlement is the correct term but not sure) of this money, which was raised by donations under AVFM auspices to start up an “Earl Silverman Center” in Canada a couple of years ago. WBB was then kicked out of AVFM for irrelevant reasons and held on to the money. She says she couldn’t carry forward with the plan because of AVFM and therefore gave the money to CAFE via a guy named Murray, but AVFM claims over and over in many different ways she’s a thief.

    Justin Trottier at CAFE has been asked to confirm that he received $5000 of the donation money via Murray, but he’s not talking. Murray’s not talking either. The way that leaves things is that WBB is accused of theft, she says she laundered it through CAFE, and CAFE doesn’t deny that. CAFE is in it up to its eyeballs and could be accused I suppose of aiding and abetting in the “theft” if it confirms it did receive the money.

    But if CAFE keeps on denying it took the money and WBB turns out to be telling the truth about it going to CAFE, it looks even worse for CAFE as they seem to be covering it up.

    If CAFE confirms it received the money but claims the money wasn’t embezzled, it is calling AVFM a bunch of defaming malicious lying liars, and AVFM and CAFE are too close for CAFE to do that.

    A respectable nonprofit would get the donor list from WBB and return as much of the money to the donors as possible, then consult a lawyer to find out what to do with the rest.

    My guess is the money’s long gone and CAFE can’t do that.

    Anyway, the second CAFE took that money it became part of the story. And every time AVFM insinuates she’s a thief, it’s putting CAFE in an ever-worsening position.

    Popcorn.

  7. HMQ,

    I see that they have another sad-man fee-fee video posted.

    The menz are victims of a vicious matriarchal power structure – and they are so, so oppressed because there are so many biases against men. He was shocked when he was served with divorce papers! He’s now a statistic (’cause it’s almost always women who file for divorce against abusers – I’m part of that statistic, too!). Oh, the sad, sad tears of the abusers! O, how they flow!

  8. One thing that occurs to me is that a man who has been genuinely abused probably isn’t going to make a big deal about, certainly not the pity party that these abusers are engaging in. A man who has suffered abuse is going to keep that under wraps to avoid looking weak.

    Why abusers don’t mind appearing weak is interesting to me though. I wonder if they’re following the same logic you see in U.S. politics and culture where political and cultural leaders say things everyone knows is bogus, but no one really calls them on it. Religious homophobes have been saying for years “the homosexuals are coming for your children”. While gay people understandably get angry about that slander, everyone knows the homophobes are full of it. Gay people know it, regular straights know it, the homophobes themselves know it. The homophobes might believe that gay men are pedophiles, but, if they truly believed gay men are “coming for” anyone’s children, their hatred would contain a great deal more urgency than just whining about same-sex marriage.

    So I wonder if the abusers are counting on other men in their little enclave also having the tacit knowledge that the abusers weren’t actually victim to anything, other than a woman asserting her independence and humanity.

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