Paul Elam’s Girlfriend Finally Speaks

Elam got his girlfriend Stacey to write a post on his site exclaiming what a ‘good guy’ he is. I knew something like this was eventually coming down the pipe for the simple fact that AVFM is the online version of the Titanic. How appropriate a metaphor eh?

Over the years of monitoring the site I’ve seen Paul Elam lash out at so many men and women who’ve tried so hard to please him. We watched while he called John Hembling a puppet with Diana Davison’s hand up his ass, while he called her a sex predator. We’ve seen him attack members of CAFE, the Canadian wing of AVFM. We’ve seen him start manfights with huge sections of the Manosphere, injecting himself into various tantrums and calling men PIGTOWS. We’ve seen him kick Kristina Hansen aka TheWoolybumblebee out. This year he’s booted his Canadian Activism Director, Attila Vinczer, out who’s actually done more activism in one year than Elam’s done in five.

Watching the coffers of AVFM dry up while Paul runs it into the ground mustn’t be pleasant for his girlfriend Stacey, who is used to having him rake in over $100,000 k/year from damaged, angry men. It didn’t help that Vinczer exposed the bombshell that Elam was screaming poverty online while vacationing in Italy with her.

The Paul Elam Stacey knows is not the one who writes about bashing bitches till he sees red corpuscles, but the gentle dude who helps old ladies who fall down on rocking boats. I swear this is the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever read.

I sit within a few feet of Paul every day as he works tirelessly, constantly putting the movement ahead of his own financial security and physical health. I have stayed up very late hours myself worrying about his lack of sleep because he never seems to find time to get enough rest.

Chairborne Rangering is hard work yo.

I live with the fear every day that the burden he chooses to carry is going to kill him.

He’s not carrying a burden. He’s harassing women and men online and offline. He’s the leader of male supremacist hate movement. If you think this gets any better you’re in for it.

Next, Stacey attacks Elam’s daughter, whom he abandoned both emotionally and financially. What class.

There were a thousand things about “Bonnie” that Paul could have said and refused to, including her longstanding troubles with Children’s Protective Services, who took a very dim view of her parenting. I knew about the constant drug screens they required of her and everyone in her home. When I read the allegations from her that he had physically abused her children, I was livid. It was never Paul who posed a threat to those two beautiful boys. It was their mother and she knows it. So does CPS.
Of course, it’s all women’s fault.
She and her brother made a game of getting on the Ricki Lake show, fabricating a false story for the TV program in exchange for free first class air fare to the show and the food and perks that came with it. So you see, “Bonnie” already had a history of lying to the media to collect a few coins and Paul did not bring it up. That was his choice, and I know why he made it but I do not want to leave it unsaid.
I suppose growing up with a deadbeat who never paid child support makes one’s daughter impoverished. Maybe if he financially supported her when she was a child and paid for her college education, or at least helped, she wouldn’t be in such a situation. Or maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?
Then we have to hear about the sensitive new-age Paulie crying over the dog.
I have seen similar tears from him over the loss of our dog, Rocky, who passed away in April 2013 and from which Paul has never fully recovered. No one would believe what a sensitive, fragile man he can be.
Hitler loved his dog too lady. I’m not saying Elam is Hitler. I’m saying that awful people can sometimes do nice things.
None of the critics have a clue how broke he is. And they have no clue as to the wonder, and yes, sometimes frustration I feel when I see his determination and work ethic go literally unfazed by his constant financial woes.
Yes, we do actually. We know he’s doing everything possible to try to get people to give him money. The problem is him, Stacey, and his toxic, misogynist, homophobic, and racist self.  I know he’s trying to manipulate the gay community and now he’s inserted himself into the intactivist movement to try and scam money out of these people. I’m gonna watch as he destroys the intactivist movement, and he will. Mark my words.
The years that this movement is surely taking off his life will not only rob him of time on this earth, it will take away time that I would like to spend with him.

His choice. If Chairborne Rangering is too hard for him maybe he should get you know, a real job.

39 thoughts on “Paul Elam’s Girlfriend Finally Speaks

  1. Ted Bundy worked for a suicide prevention hotline and was considered quite good at it. Also sociopaths may well like their dogs, dogs can be taught to obey.

  2. One of the saddest things in the world is hearing a woman defending an abuser/her abuser/male assholes. And it happens on a continuum all around us every day.

      • LOL. But, but, we DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT ANY MORE! He’s gone! Bwahahahaha! We must savor it. Because all too soon some new ghastly thing will occur. Possibly involving the words “Nordic Model”. And not a lauding it.

        • So Petunia, what Province you from? I’m out in Vancouver, BC. If you saw the map of the ridings, you’ll see BC is fucking confused. We have the rich islanders voting Green, the interior businesses voted Conservative, the city voted NDP and Libs.

          I used to live just outside Ottawa and they voted Lib.

          I immigrated to Canada in 94 and remember the Libs back then, led by Chretien. I remember being an ignorant wide eyed American watching This Hour Has 22 Minutes and thinking ‘Wow, this Canada land is fucking awesome. They make fun of politicians weekly.’

          My first Canadian experience was maple syrup, going into Quebec to get fresh cheese curds and Marg Dillihunty eating those donuts.

          My first long drive thru Montreal, stopping at D and D, driving 150 K/hr on the Queensway speeding towards Vermont to Boston, was fucking awesome.

          • hi HMQ, I first read this late at night and was too befuddle to respond properly and then I forgot about it. But here I am now.

            I’m in Ontario where I grew up after I moved here when I was 4 with my parents who were from Detroit. Being a Yank immigrants to Canada in the 60s was interesting. Couches were invariably called “Chesterfields”.

            Where I am in Hamilton is NDP safe seats. We got a couple liberals this time. But if you look at the map with the Ridings in party colors southern Ontario is a sea of blue with a little Hamilton nugget of red and orange. Kind of like Vancouver in BC right?

            You remember the Chretian liberals? Good! We can play a little game. How long does it take Trudeau’s government to become completely Chretian-oid. I’m hoping it doesn’t at all. But I’m prepared.

            I remember Marg Dillihunty in a bubble bath with a glass of champagne saying whoever the finance minister was then had promised us we’d all be “farting through silk”. 😊

          • I used to live in Ottawa. I loved the winter but the summer was intolerably hot. At least in BC on the coast, the summers are bearable.

            Trudeau plays majority rules. That’s how he does things. So if you want anything to have a hope in hell, you gotta get the majority.

          • You found Ottawa hot?! But you could stand the winters? And now you live in balmy Vancouver? That is such a total waste of living in Vancouver! I only say this because I want to live there. I’m disabled and hobbling through the snow drifts that assholes don’t clear is not fun.

            Are you from some cold part of the States? 🤔

          • Yep. I’m from Boston. I love snow. It doesn’t bother me in the least. I much rather live in a cold climate than a hot one. Warm fires and hot chocolate is the life for me while it’s snowing like mad outside. I’m an autumn and winter person. Vancouver is depressing since it never snows and rains constantly.

          • bummer about Van! That is so gift of the Magi. You move to The Great White North, Canada and live in the only bit that isn’t wintery! And ironically I like so many crippled people yearn to live in a place without ice and snow to deal with. Ah, if only we could switch. 😉

          • It’s 35-40C in Ottawa in August. I can’t handle that heat. I mean, I lived in an air conditioned place but I felt like I was roasting alive in that humidity. In the winter I used a block heater for the first time. That was a different experience b/c while it does get cold in Boston and snows, it’s not as extremely cold as Ottawa. Did you know Ottawa has the most changeable climate in North America? Possibly the world?

            I do miss being back east. Vancouver is not all it’s cracked up to be. First you have to get used to being boxed in by mountains and for an east coast person it’s claustrophobic. You can’t drive past them either, believe me I tried when I used to have a car.

            The rainy season is 6 months long. Every day, cloudy and pissing rain. The depression in this province is obvious. People are not as friendly as easterners. They’re crude and stupid. Then again, I live in a very rough part so maybe they’re nicer in other parts.

            Nobody knows how to drive out here either. They don’t move over from the fast lane if you flash your lights or come up behind them. If you drive the right way and follow the rules like we do on the east coast, the western male driver in the fast lane will go 60, not allow you to pass, will block you in and tap his brakes. People are generally angrier and stupider out here. Most drivers don’t know how to parallel park either. There is no such thing as a three point turn out here.

            On the rare occasion it does snow, nobody out here knows how to drive in it. It’s best to completely avoid driving if you’re an easterner when it snows.

            The rain creates a constant state of depression and anxiety out here and people drink coffee to keep going, so it makes them more anxious. Throw a stone and hit a coffee shop out here.

            Eastern culture is friendlier, warmer and nicer. I wouldn’t want to move out here if I were you. The cost of living is out of control too. A gallon of milk is $6 fucking dollars.

          • $6?! Holy fuck. It’s only $4 here. Thank you for that. I’m on disability and the way that works in Canada is it’s by the province and Ontario is the only province that pays an even mildly realistic amount. So I have been sitting here in Ontario for years wishing I could move to the no snow place. Focusing only on the no snow. Not thinking about living in a great big city again which I do not like, or the notorious overpricedness of things. The rain did always worry me. And I accepted a few months ago that I had to give up that fantasy, dream. I am not going to move to Vancouver. Because I would get almost 25% less money. Given that I enjoyed your gutting of Vancouver. 😄 It’s shitty, I don’t want to live there anyway. Cool.

            Bummer for you though. You should come live in Hamilton. Although it’s not really heavily snowy. And it does have an escarpment. I can’t speak to the driving because I never learned how to drive now I can’t because of my disability.

            It gets that hot in Ottawa?! I had no idea. I just knew it was unlivable. That does sound extremely unpleasant. Oh we do have that kind of humidity in Hamilton too. Just like in Michigan. But not as bad as Indiana. Mostly.

    • FYI, I’m reading Sexual Politics by Millett and some short stories by Colette as well as Friedan’s I think 3rd edition of Feminine Mystique.

      Millett has me engrossed at present. She’s so spot on.

  3. The dedication of the keyboard kommando to his grift is impressive.
    I am always amused when people tell whoppers right to your face, like this one about how Paul did not want to speak ill of his daughter so he published a piece that speaks ill of his daughter. Criminy!

    • I’ve noticed before how he will stick the knife in about half way through, withdraw it, and go back to the BS. Anway you’re right Bewilderness, he’s published an article that says he didn’t want to stick it to his daughter, that sticks it to his daughter. Yeouch!

      Looking at his comment on his own article, he’s in martyr mode and almost sounds like a goodbye. He thanks his volunteers and says he’s moving on to harass men now (drs. and rabbis). We were all getting bored so good idea.

      I’m buying a popcorn popper. The debacle is coming!

  4. Elam rakes in over $100,000 a year? Hmmm…. I wonder if the IRS is aware of this? Given Elam’s past history as a tax evader, I rather doubt it. Maybe the IRS would like an anonymous tip on this known tax evader?

    • Just recently he worked some shit out with his porn lawyer regarding the income. I’m sure the IRS knows nothing about his collecting these funds for so many years.

      It allowed him to buy a brand new condo, a large fridge, and trips to Italy while he was telling everyone else online he was broke.

  5. I thought the woman he was living off, the one he called his partner last February, a year ago had a different name. I don’t suppose it matters whether he is using his latest victim, unpaid employees, or sock puppets, to carry his toxic water.

  6. I just wanted to say that I think this website is awesome and that I wish more people would comment. So how do you spread the word about your website?

    Please continue the good work.

  7. Chretian finance minister was Paul Martin. But was this during Mulroney era? I can’t remember. The Mulroney years apparently have been erased from my brain. 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 Poor Paul Martin, he wanted to be PM so badly but by the time Chretian had buggered off the sponsorship scandal had become bad enough that Martin was just a minority PM.

    All of which reminds me all over again that HARPER is GONE! Whoa, I’m getting the bends! I was so used to having a fucking nutcase in Ottawa. I really liked the cabinet ministers press conference where they all walked around outside, and Trudeau took questions that had not been vetted. Harper was such a little Kremliny shit.

  8. Pingback: It’s Not Complicated Cassie Jaye | Mancheeze

  9. Paul Elam has to be stopped. His rage is palpable. He attacks the mentally ill but he is a textbook Narcissist. He is a sick man who has hurt countless women in his life, and people are sending him money for advice? He has 0 qualifications! My heart breaks for his victims – his own family. He even calls rap music nigger music, it makes me sick.

  10. I don’t know who wrote this article, but thank you, I’ve seen Paul attack and hurt so many fragile people suffering from mental health issues, it’s sickening and scary. Thank you for being brave enough to stand up to him. He controls people by scaring them into compliance, that’s why people are too afraid to come forward. You are a true hero.


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